The joy of dealing with Queensland Transport

[Ken Gargett]

An entity to challenge both Telstra and the stumbling wombat.

When one reaches a certain age, one apparently has to change cards to travel on TransLink buses/trains etc. Apparently, they are run by the qld govt. Truly inept. Roll on the election.

Last year, under the previous card, I received instructions from some idiot at a train station and it stuffed things and I got charged for crap not undertaken. There was not the slightest chance they were going to talk to me about that. Not even rude messages could entice them.

Anyway, new card arrives. Works for a few months. Stops working. Despite money in the account (and several attempts at manual and automatic top-up), when I get on a bus, the red lights flash. Most drivers could not give a toss, but some give you the stare and some even want an explanation. I contact TransLink. Yet again, completely ignored. This happens twice more. Finally, I get a text and am told I can ring up. So, into the system I go.

Eventually, I get a human – notwithstanding the accent, I can only assume that they have moved to Australia. Surely they would not have us talking to woop woop in some far away destination? Fat chance.

Go through all the security questions (why the hell do we need security questions for tickets for a bus ride?). Apparently, they are eventually satisfied it is me. We discuss competency. They clearly could not give a toss.

I explain my issue. They go away but eventually come back and suggest I have broken the card. It is pristine. So, they have no clue. Eventually I am told, after I hold on for another stint, that there is good news and bad news. We never did get to the good news.

I am told I can go into a bus centre (whatever the hell that is) and get another card – the concept of how I am getting there, I left with them, given my card does not work – I saw no reason to tell them I had a car.

I told them that no, this was not acceptable. They could send me a new card. This came as a shock but eventually they agreed they could do that. I was then told that the new card was ten bucks or something like that. Now, I could not care if it was ten bucks or 10 cents or $10,000, why was I buying a new card because the one that they sent me doesn’t work? Why were they not replacing the stuffed card they sent me?

Because that is how it works.

That makes no sense,

But it is how it we do it. This is repeated several times.

So, I ask, if you buy a car and it doesn’t work, would you expect it replaced or would you buy another one?

Oh.

So, I want a new card.

We don’t do that.

Now you do.

You'll have to go into Qld Transport and discuss this with them.

Are you serious?

Turns out that they were serious.

Well bugger this, charge me and send it to me (and I may have embellished this with my view of their competence and willingness to assist), but I am far from happy.

What credit card do I charge?

The same card as is in the system now. The one which has been making payments that don’t appear.

Sorry sir, I can only look at one screen, so you'll have to tell me.

I did tell them and then gave them a number.

Thank you, sir. That will be in the mail. If it does not arrive in two weeks, ring up and we can arrange a replacement.

So, if it does not arrive, I would get a replacement or I would have to buy yet another card?

Apparently, that was all too much.

Thank you sir, have a nice day. And if you’d care to hold, there will be a survey.

A survey? You want me to do a survey. Good.

At which the realization dawned that me doing a survey was the last thing they wanted. And so, she promptly hung up.

I have something like ten trips in the works for the next week or two. I will be waving my useless card at the driver and taking a seat. If he is not happy then he can call the cops. If I am late for lunch either Thursday or Friday, forgive me but I suspect it will be thanks to this crap.  

 

[Ken Gargett]

I did forget to mention that with the top-ups, the woman told me that the system showed them as ‘pending’.

I asked from which date have they been pending.

Early August.

So do you think that perhaps they should no longer be pending?

Possibly.

Spare me.

[loose_axle]

I am sorry for your plight, but I do appreciate the engrossing and entertaining write up. 

I've had similar run ins with Australia Post of late if its any consolation. 

[LordAnubis]

I’ve recently found the peak. The crème de la crème. “I feel you are being islamaphobic to me, you wouldn’t be bullying me like this if I was white”. That got me out of a 460 buck tobacco tax bill. Not shitting you. It was a masterpiece. 

[Ford2112]

I only had to read the title and author of this post to know it would be worthwhile. Maybe not sitting in pee at an airport level but damn quality!