Unwelcome Anniversaries and Moving Forward

[skalls]

August 5th is never a day I look forward too or want to see since 2016 onward.  If I'm honest with y'all it's a day I dread since my dad passed away in 2016.  I miss my dad, and it that feeling is more painful on his anniversary of his passing. He was in such pain at the end and his passing was actually a blessing from a certain perspective.  But that doesn't change how I still miss the rounds of golf, the track meets we worked, and the conversations we had.

 

I can still hear him telling me "Don't get stuck in the past and move forward."  He said that to me about 2 weeks before he passed away.  He's right, getting stuck in the past and losing the present and future isn't going to do me any good and it'd be dishonoring him in a way.

But for today, and the past couple August 5ths and all future ones, I take it off from work.  Go golfing in the morning, try to stay focused (and fail), and then eventually wind up on the deck with an adult beverage and cigar.  

So the drink today is one of the first releases Kilchoman ever made.  I'm an Islay loving peathead and absolutely love everything this distillery releases.  Cigar is a Partagas Presidente (ALO AUG16).  After the first puff of the cigar I raised the glass, thanked my dad for everything he did and his influence in my life.  Then for the next hour and a half I sat in quiet contemplation and remembered the good times we had.

It still sucks that he isn't around, but Dad, this one was for you.  Thanks again!

[El Presidente]

Brilliant 

[westg]

Good times fond memories..He would be so proud of you ?

[shadowACE]

Cheers to you...and your Dad...and all those memories you hold.

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[stogieluver]

I lost my dad in 1992.  I celebrate his birthday, but not his "deathday".  I remember vividly the day he died, and I just can't re-live that day every year in any kind of a special way.  It creeps into my mind every now and then, and I just push it away and think of things we did together.  Keep thinking of all the good times you had.  Celebrate his life.

[wineguy]

I get it. I lost my Dad June 21, 2017 and think of him every day but celebrate him on the other holidays and don’t dwell on the day he passed, I nearly missed it this year but we all have  to grieve our own way.

[HumidorJuan]

Cheers, I'm drinking Ardbeg On Oa as I type. I lost my dad a few years ago in a similar situation, where the inevitable eventually became a good thing for him, and I am amazed how all my memories of him have strengthened in intensity. Like you said, you still hear his words, and its nice how the memory of someone really is its own relationship that changes and has ups and downs and grows the older we get. Cheers to your dad and all the other good men who have come before us. 

[madandana]

Great way to honor you dad. When I start missing my Mom I try to focus on the times. It works for me.