Hump day Humour: How not to go through LAX

[El Presidente]

I have yet to find an unfriendlier airport than LAX.  I love the US and I love the American People but it is as if they held a tosser competition and then put all the winners at LAX.  If you are a US citizen going through, no doubt it is different. if you are a non resident however....it can be intimidating. 

Clive found it intimidating 

For those that have met Clive....you know he is the nicest bloke in the world.  I haven't heard him swear. Butterflies land on him. He speaks to the animals. 

My brief to the lads was simple. "LAX is not like anywhere else". Don't stand out and keep moving. keep your head down. "Yes sir, no sir, how high sir" and before you know it we will be back in the real world. 

Heading  through border control at LAX we had to snake through the lanes and pass the drug dog which on this occasion was a lovely chocolate short haired pointer.  We are 20 hours into out travel. Our instincts may not be the best.  

Through one lane......corner......through another lane......corner.......oops.....Clive drops a $2 coin in front of the dog handler. 

I was thinking: " please don't pick it up....PLEASE DON"T PICK IT UP!!!"

Clive went to pick up the coin and said politely to the handler "I am just going to pick up the coin"

The handler heard "I am a possible terrorist" 

The next 15 seconds will stay with me forever 

Clive bends down on one knee to pick up the coin. 

The dog approaches Clive. 

Clive reaches out with his hand showing the dog the $2 coin in his hand. 

The dog sniffs it. 

The Border control handler yells "HE FED SOMETHING TO THE DOG!!!"

Border control officer 2 yells "IS THE DOG OK!!!!"

Both yell "GET AWAY FROM THE DOG!"

Clive says...."but the dog approached me!"

I reminded Clive that it was a drug dog....and approaching people is what they do for a living. He wasn't looking for a pat 

The Border control officers were stunned. They checked the dog. We were stunned! we checked Clive

Reality:   Clive was 5 seconds from being tasered. 

It could have been an electrifying start to the trip 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[prodigy]

Atlanta airport is maybe more friendly, but way more complicated to navigate. Great story! I was able to mentally see the entire story unfold haha.

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[PigFish]

... remember those days when they just hijacked you and took you to Cuba? Damn, I miss 'em too! -LOL

Tell Clive to call me anytime for a reference at LAX. Hmmm... check that. I may still be on the no-fly list...! 

-R

[Miner]

But the dawg was so cute !!

I must admit I hesitated when I got home before I stroked my dog, haunted by the memory of LAX.

[LordAnubis]

Hahahahhahahahah. Good one Clive! West must have been shitting himself.


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[cigaraholic]

You gotta be careful....there’s a lot of fake $2 marijuana coins in circulation right now?