The Ashes - Version 2.0


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Is anybody from Brissie going on Thursday?

I have organised a day off work, have a ticket, and am thinking of taking a Parti short and knicking down behind the sightscreen at the Vulture St end at lunch for a quickie.

Here are my hopes and wishes for the First Test:

1. An Australian top order batsman (other than Rogers or Clarke) hangs around long enough at some stage to actually get us to the second new ball.

2. Shane Watson re-pulls either hammy and retires from Test match cricket before he gets a boarding pass on the flight to Adelaide.

3. The selectors publicly announce they are sticking with Nathan Lyon as their first choice tweaker for the series.

4. Chris Broad breaks down in tears at the crease after sustained sledging from Brad Haddin.

5. Chris Broad breaks down in tears while fielding after sustained sledging from anyone (crowd, opposition, groundsmen or umpire).

6. Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke kiss and make up.

7. Shane and Liz tie the knot this week and put us out of our misery.

8. We get through this game without any questionable 3rd umpire decisions.

9. We win the toss, send the Poms in, bowl them out before tea on Thursday, sneak a win, and the Ashes are still up for grabs on Boxing day.

Am i dreaming or are any of the above hopes and desires feasible?

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can't see any coming true.

going thursday depending on the weather. not sure of other days. see how it is going. have tried very hard to get excited.

i could cop us getting the expected flogging but i find it so hard to support the mob of divas and prima donnas and self-interested tools that supposedly represent us.

seriously, dave warner as an aussie captain? he still harbours hopes.

and we bring in george bailey. getting runs in idiot cricket but his first class average in shield cricket last year? 18. the poms must be terrified.

more likely broad breaks down in tears of laughter.

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And how appropriate Warner and Candice Falzon have hooked up. A match made in heaven i think!

You're right Ken, until they pick guys that are prepared to play for 5 days, we won't stand a chance,

What's wrong with Doolan or Silk before Bailey? I think they picked the wrong apple (tassie joke sorry!)

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and good luck having a smoke in the ground.

my plan was to light up while a referral was being considered and everyone was watching the big screen for the decision.

I'd have time surely?

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Yer ur dreaming its going to be a washout in brissie looking at the weather forecast.

Then we poms going smash you for rest of the series lmao.gif

there are storms around but they tend to be a bit sporadic. every chance there'll be more than enough time. pity. a washout would at least mean we don't lose 5-0.

also doing day 1 in adelaide.

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Even with the current speculation about the mismatch of the coming Ashes series, I don't think England would be brave enough to field Chris Broad (Stuart's dad!).

And Shane Watson should retire for sure. Is it just me or does anyone else think he constantly looks like he's just woken up in the middle of a game of cricket and hasn't got a clue how he got there...............

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Even with the current speculation about the mismatch of the coming Ashes series, I don't think England would be brave enough to field Chris Broad (Stuart's dad!).

And Shane Watson should retire for sure. Is it just me or does anyone else think he constantly looks like he's just woken up in the middle of a game of cricket and hasn't got a clue how he got there...............

lol, showing my age there with that slip! Makes me feel old when blokes i used to watch in my high school years have sons in the Test team!
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My mates son may well be walking out to open for England on Thursday so give him a cheer from me (actually he may also bat 6 but I hope not). He has opened with me in club cricket so knows all about real pressure!

I am still laughing at the thought of Warner as captain, is this serious or a wind up? After his antics earlier this tear he should come and play a little Yorkshire league cricket, there are many waiting to give him a warm welcome. I think he has little man syndrome a la Dennis Wise or Jake Reed.

I think it will be a close series as results will be hard to get on the batting tracks I have heard are being prepared. 2 or 3 - 0 to England as cannot see the Aussie attack bowling us out twice

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Maybe I'm just being a typically pessimistic Brit here but I'm really not expecting the relatively easy ride that a lot of people seem to be predicting.We were very flattered by a 3-0 scoreline here this summer and from what I've seen The Aussies have gained a heck of a lot of ground on us since the last tour down under in 2010.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I honestly don't see us winning 3 out of the 5 so I reckon the little urn is up for grabs in what will be a pretty close series.

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My mates son may well be walking out to open for England on Thursday so give him a cheer from me (actually he may also bat 6 but I hope not). He has opened with me in club cricket so knows all about real pressure!

I am still laughing at the thought of Warner as captain, is this serious or a wind up? After his antics earlier this tear he should come and play a little Yorkshire league cricket, there are many waiting to give him a warm welcome. I think he has little man syndrome a la Dennis Wise or Jake Reed.

I think it will be a close series as results will be hard to get on the batting tracks I have heard are being prepared. 2 or 3 - 0 to England as cannot see the Aussie attack bowling us out twice

yes, warner has declared he wants to be captain. total tosser. i think it was a few days before he took a swipe at root (i still think root must also be a complete wanker because how bad must a bloke be if you take a swing at him and not broad - mind you, warner would have been lucky to hit broad much above the knee).

have not heard anything about doctoring pitches. our groundskeepers tend to tell anyone suggesting such things to them to take a hike. and not sure what we'd prepare. certainly not batting pitches, we'd never get your lot out.

i expect them to be pretty similar to the past. gabba and waca some bounce, sydney spin, adelaide and mcg reasonable batting tracks

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It's a real shame about the injuries. When your side is in transition of eras you need a new young crop to hit the scene at the same time and be up and running, even for the experience. Look at the West Indies when they got flogged in Australia and England then came back under Clive with a new mindset and a fearsome pace attack. Not saying Pattinson, Cummins and Starc are even close to the windies attack but it could have made a little bit of a difference if we could have kept them all on the park. Bloody performance coaches and too many of those 'pretend' cricket matches going on. I know I've been busy this month (until now - obviously LOL) but It's so sad that I didn't even know the first test started on Thursday. Hopefully the weather helps out with a green top and we bowl first after the Poms decide to bat. If it's the other way around it could be 'car crash' cricket. Horrifying, but you can't look away.

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Our quicks would want to devastate England's batsmen if we are to be any chance. I can't foresee any circumstance where we would be able to consistently russle up more than 350. We just dont have the talent. Esp not to world class bowlers. Clarke is our only world class player and has a dodgy back. He is clearly capable in the field at setting aggressive fields etc but big deal! Good captains produce wins. And have stable dressing rooms. And Australia has neither.

I remember days when if a new batsmen was blooded into the side he either opened or batted 6. They protected the new players and captains didnt shuffle themselves around to protect their average. Your best batsman bats 3... at the very least 4. Clarke had to be offered a new Mrs to take regretfully do his duty.

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It's a real shame about the injuries. When your side is in transition of eras you need a new young crop to hit the scene at the same time and be up and running, even for the experience. Look at the West Indies when they got flogged in Australia and England then came back under Clive with a new mindset and a fearsome pace attack. Not saying Pattinson, Cummins and Starc are even close to the windies attack but it could have made a little bit of a difference if we could have kept them all on the park. Bloody performance coaches and too many of those 'pretend' cricket matches going on. I know I've been busy this month (until now - obviously LOL) but It's so sad that I didn't even know the first test started on Thursday. Hopefully the weather helps out with a green top and we bowl first after the Poms decide to bat. If it's the other way around it could be 'car crash' cricket. Horrifying, but you can't look away.

Pattinson and Cummins actually sound like they've come straight out of a great Windies side!
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Our quicks would want to devastate England's batsmen if we are to be any chance. I can't foresee any circumstance where we would be able to consistently russle up more than 350. We just dont have the talent. Esp not to world class bowlers. Clarke is our only world class player and has a dodgy back. He is clearly capable in the field at setting aggressive fields etc but big deal! Good captains produce wins. And have stable dressing rooms. And Australia has neither.

I remember days when if a new batsmen was blooded into the side he either opened or batted 6. They protected the new players and captains didnt shuffle themselves around to protect their average. Your best batsman bats 3... at the very least 4. Clarke had to be offered a new Mrs to take regretfully do his duty.

I agree, the only time we post a competitive total is when Clarke makes runs. I'm sure Warner will fire at some stage but he's only good for the occasional 50 off 30 balls. He's not a Test players left nut, and I don't want him to make runs anyway, I'd rather see him out of the side and a worthy Australian get a game. We need runs up the top, so that we're not continually relying on the middle and late order. I lost count of the number of times in England where it was Haddin or the tail that helped us post a respectable score.

Here's hoping for a rain free match in BNE and a performance we can all stand behind and be proud of!

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2-2 Draw for the series.

Bailey should be Captain. Tour (Captain) of India and not one player was on the front or back page for misdemeanors. First time since Waugh.

Give me 5-1 and I will back the Aussies for a series draw or win. Bet with cigars. Aussies and Poms only.

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2-2 Draw for the series.

Bailey should be Captain. Tour (Captain) of India and not one player was on the front or back page for misdemeanors. First time since Waugh.

Give me 5-1 and I will back the Aussies for a series draw or win. Bet with cigars. Aussies and Poms only.

I'd be happier if you wanted 5-1 to back the selectors to stick with one spinner for the series. I'd take those odds! You just know that they won't be able to help themselves and drop Lyon at some stage.
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2-2 Draw for the series.

Bailey should be Captain. Tour (Captain) of India and not one player was on the front or back page for misdemeanors. First time since Waugh.

Give me 5-1 and I will back the Aussies for a series draw or win. Bet with cigars. Aussies and Poms only.

so why wouldn't they go to the TAB and get better odds and then buy cigars?

george bailey captain?

now, we agree on a lot re sports but on what planet do you toss in an untried and unproven bloke, over age, who could not get a game with the team for a decade because he simply wasn't good enough, as captain of an ashes series? insane.

clarke has his detractors, and in some respects i am one, but on the field he is an excellent captain - streets ahead of cook (probably has to be). showing himself as one of our best since border, taylor or even the brilliant ian chappell. but not there yet.

bailey? he has had a decent run in idiot cricket. last season, his shield average was 18, i believe. 18. and he has been picked as a test batsman. christ, that makes brearley (and i can only think that making baliley captain accords with brearley - and do we really want a non-playing capt?) look like bradman. a bloke who has not yet cemented a place - he is real danger of missing a spot in the first test. as captain? god, not even deans made such bizarre selections.

the advantage of clarke as captain is that at least he is going to be there.

chances of bailey playing all tests? we hope so but slim.

such a statement is, with the greatest respect, truly ludicrous (and yes, i'd rather be bagging idiot comments from poms but if you come up with that, i can't help it).

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Don't care.

He didn't rush home to diddle his girlfriend. He smiles, is articulate and is scoring runs (albeit in pyjama cricket). He has the respect of his squad....something Clark has never had.

Ask yourself why? There are intangibles in sport leadership. Your best player does not have to be captain.

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Don't care.

He didn't rush home to diddle his girlfriend. He smiles, is articulate and is scoring runs (albeit in pyjama cricket). He has the respect of his squad....something Clark has never had.

Ask yourself why? There are intangibles in sport leadership. Your best player does not have to be captain.

no, but he should be good enough to make the team. a first class average from 100 games under 40? spare me. love to see him succeed as he seems a decent likeable bloke but idiot cricket is not test cricket.

to make him captain says so much about our current team - they can't find anyone in the team, after all this time? then we are in truly dire straights.

clarke is a very good leader on the field. but it would take the steel of chappell or border to pull garbage like warner and watson and so on, into line.

and that won't come from an unproven bloke. those guys (border/chappell) had proven themselves in the toughest arena. bailey has not even set foot in a slightly difficult arena.

that old adage - what would the opposition not want? you think england will feel more uncomfortable with bailey or clarke as captain? they would wet themselves laughing if we went bailey.

i think you might have been watching 'its a wonderful life' a few too many times.

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This series is not a foregone conclusion by any means. Yes we poms maybe stronger on paper and in experience but don't underestimate our capacity to choke and you are at home too. I am not convinced that our batsman will show up with enough runs over the course of the tests to achieve a series win. I would pick a draw if push came to shove, or even a narrow series defeat.

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I, and i would hope most australian over forty, would be happy if we lost all matches but picked a side we're happy to have represent us. I'd much rather they get rid of the idiots like warner and watson, and pick a couple of young blokes that are making runs in shield cricket. Like silk and maddinson as an example. They're both making runs early in the shield season. And they bat like they are playing cricket. Warner bats like his aim is simply to get a raise in his IPL contract price.

But no, the selectors will give hughes or khwaja another crack before they look to the future.

Johnson as a replacement for Starc is interesting. Let's hope he can keep it on the pitch! No use bowling at 150 if the keeper cant even reach it as it sails past to the fine leg boundary for 4 wides!

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