smithers and the empire

[Ken Gargett]

received this in an email. i swear i have not changed the names. it came to me as smithers!!

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. God, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall with a falsetto voice.

Smithers, old man," said the colonel, "tell your new CO about yourself."

"Well, sir, I graduated with high honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and received the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."

Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, the CO can read all that in your file. Tell him about what happened the day you told the witch doctor to get f'd."

[stogieluver]

LMAO.

[Stevieboy]

Ha ha ha.... I'm genuinely laughing out loud.

Classic! :D

Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk 4

[saver]

realy, ha-ha-ha

)

[Steens]

Thats really funny

[cigcars]

...and the man having gone into the bar at one of those little islands was astounded to see at the other end of the bar...a man whose head was impossibly, unbelievably small. Really small - about the size of an orange. He was in good spirits, laughed and even bought the incredulous man a drink. Satisfying the poor man's near desperate curiosity about his small head, he told him that he was shipwrecked and found a "genie's lamp" where out popped a genie - one who put Barbara Eden to shame, she was so gorgeous! She said, "You may have 3 wishes, master!" He said he wanted off the island -poof!- it happened. He wanted to be rich - poof!- gold coins are his. "Your third wish, master?" she asked ever so voluptuously. And he goes, "Well...how about a little head!"

[Blakes]

[kwsaw63]

Hilarious!