Secret formula to keep your wife cool with cigar purchase

[Strada]

Got this from a random post on another forum.

SECRET FORMULA for MARITAL BLISS

================================

Let me explain how this works...

((ACP + SCP/4)/YM) + 15% = GFW

Above is the SECRET formula for keeping your wife satedregarding your cigar purchases. Here are the details:

ACP = accountable cigar purchases - these are the purchasesthat your wife knows about in full such as purchases you made in her presence,ones with a credit card trail, etc.

SCP = secret cigar purchases - these are the purchases thatyou manage to sneak in under her dollar sensing radar. Cash only, no bags, shenever sees them enter the domicile - you know the drill.

YM = years married

GFW = Gifts for Wife

First step is to total the value of the ACP with a 1/4th ofthe SCP. Why even claim a fourth of the SCP? For two reasons, one your wife isno idiot, and she knows damn well that you are buying cigars behind her back soit is best to admit to a 1/4 of the real number outright as a sign of goodfaith. Also it is an excellent decoy to prevent her from investigating deeper -trust me on this you don't want her to pull out CA and start totaling theretail value of your collection from the dollar marks listed in the ratingsection!

Now take that number and divided it by the years married, asa newlywed she is getting a hell of a return, but it will diminish quickly overthe years. Ask her about this concept, I am pretty sure she will agree.

Finally add 15% to the total. Why? Cause you are really agood guy, and you want to be fair. :>

So lets see this in action for a 3K a year cigar habit after3 years of marriage:

$1,800.00 ACP $1,200.00 SCP / 4 ========= $2,100.00 / 3========= $ 700.00

+ 15% = $805.00 GFW

Basically to keep your lovely wife at bay you must buy her$805.00 worth of extra non-holiday no-strings attached gifts during the courseof the year. This will keep her from ripping your head off regarding your cigarpurchases. Now I know this seems pretty steep, but keep in mind once you aremarried twelve years the number drops to a measly $201.25. Trust me my friendthis will be the best money ever spent - the formula WORKS!

[canadianbeaver]

Funny I use the same formula for my shoes and boots purchases.

[Ophidion]

I do all the finances in the house including paying bills and running the savings account. I only spend what I have in my "cigar budget" and make sure to take her out once a week for lunch and once a month for dinner with the rest going to birthdays/holidays/vacations.

It works out pretty damn well. She also buys me cigars fr time to time so it's not as if I'm buying something she doesn't approve of.

[canadianbeaver]

mmmm... Harvey's.

Oh crap. Let that one out the bag.

Don't tell.

[orangedog]

the type of gift matters too... regular housekeeping and babysitter have given me a blank check...

[winelover]

I've read the OP previously on FOH within the last year so looks like it has also showcased on other forums before coming back here.

[headstand]

Funny I use the same formula for my shoes and boots purchases.

good one