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Posted

My youngest Tom (10) is showing interest in Basketball having made the school team. I am all for encouraging my kids in sport so on Saturday I did some research and lashed out $79 on the following from K mart...a Dunlop Aerial Basketball thing.

post-4-1309480175.jpg

Well I laid down the back seats in the 4x4 and went off to the shopping centre thinking to myself all the way...."please don't come in a box...please don't come in a box...please don't come in a box"....you get my drift.

It came in a box.

It came in a fricken big box, flat packed but with those two words proudly printed on the outside which to my mind is the greatest lie of modern times Easy Assembly

Now back at home with Tom standing beside me...beaming at the greatest dad in the world....we commenced the EASY ASSEMBLY

The first part was deceptively simple. The box opened with careful use of a stanley knife.

Having fallen down at stage two many times in the past, this time I looked for the instructions. Instructions found.

Step one.

Locate supporting plates CC-12 and join to both base CC13 and pole CC14 while taking care to also join structural poles CC-15 and CC-16 using bolts BB12. Do not use BB13 or BB15 as these bolts will be required later.

There was a black and white picture of the finished product. Pricks.

Tom could sense trouble when I uttered the line...... "I might need to drill some holes"

"Dad...It doesn't say you need a drill?"

"Rookie error son, you need to read between the lines".

30 minutes later he was despondent. We were still looking at the instructions for stage one and we had a wedding to get to.

I spent an hour on Sunday looking at stage one again. Drill in hand. Thankfully we had a 50th birthday party to get to.

While at work Monday, Wife and Daughter put it together in 45 minutes.

No drill required.

I reminded Tom that I can fish.

Posted

LOL!! you're so right, biggest lie in the history of man, easy assembly...

Posted

Well done Rob that will teach the young lad that if you leave something long enough someone else will do it

Posted
While at work Monday, Wife and Daughter put it together in 45 minutes.

No drill required.

I've noticed that things are being put together using "women logic" (e.g. IKEA)... they should put in the instructions: Assembly by Women Required

Posted

Mister Fix-It you ain't! If your son ever asks you to buy him a bike and there is some assembly required, whatever you do, do not put it together yourself! Pay the dude at the shop to put it together for you!!

Posted
Mister Fix-It you ain't! If your son ever asks you to buy him a bike and there is some assembly required, whatever you do, do not put it together yourself! Pay the dude at the shop to put it together for you!!

I just didn't think this would be so hard ^_^

I am clueless on DIY. Normally I call my poolman to do these things and pay accordingly but Wife and daughter got to it before he did.

You can't be good at everything!

Posted

You should have rung Ken for some help! .....

"Ken, I need your help assembling this aerial basketball thing I just bought for the lad. Come as quickly as you can, and bring two bottles of wine .... And your leaf blower"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :P

Posted
I just didn't think this would be so hard :rotfl:

I am clueless on DIY. Normally I call my poolman to do these things and pay accordingly but Wife and daughter got to it before he did.

You can't be good at everything!

Mate, next time just ask for the floor model.

Posted
Tom could sense trouble when I uttered the line...... "I might need to drill some holes"

"

Rob, Ouffff, good thing that you didn't have to start welding, that's a good point already :rotfl:

Posted
. . . that's a good point already

Yeah. I was thinking maybe this could be framed in some corporate lingo. Like, "See how Dad delegated in this situation?"

Or, "In this family we practice shared leadership."

Posted

Rob, you are truly priceless. The following story should make you feel better.

I decided to buy a gas powered pressure washer for cleaning the driveway, patio, etc. I talked to several people that said "whatever you do, get one with a Honda engine because they are easy to start" OK, off I go to Home Depot, plunk down $400 and head home with my new purchase.

Assembly goes well, I read the instructions, hooking up the garden hose, washer wand, and fill with gas. I turn on the water as instructed, set the switch to "On" and pull the chord - Nothing. Not even an attempt to start. I re-read the instructions. After several attempts I am sweating, swearing, and in a state of severe agitation. The thing is now obviously flooded. At this point my wife comes out and gives me the old "what's the matter dear" routine. My glare could have burned a hole through granite.

After all this effort, I give up and go inside to drink a bottle of White Burgundy to ease my pain. While drinking, I do a search on google about Honda Power Washer not starting. Well, it appears that I am not the only idiot that has had this problem. After doing extensive research, I come to find out YOU HAVE TO HOLD THE TRIGGER DOWN WHILE STARTING TO RELEASE WATER PRESSURE!!! There is a minor mention of holding the trigger down, but I thought this referred to after you were done. No mention in the troubleshooting section either.

I let the contraption sit for several hours and at around 9:00pm at night I try this new procedure - we have liftoff!!! I am so proud of myself that I got thing running, I started power washing the driveway just to break it in. My wife comes out yelling "its too late to run that thing shut it off" My reply "I suggest you back inside and leave me alone or I will power wash you along with the driveway" Needless to say there were no good night pleasantries exchanged when I turned in for bed.

True story, you just can't make this stuff up.

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