s**t my dad says

[Ken Gargett]

anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples.

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

[Ben]

Yeah fantastic stuff. Incidentally they're adapting it into a TV show with Captain Kirk playing the Dad.

[Ken Gargett]

Yeah fantastic stuff. Incidentally they're adapting it into a TV show with Captain Kirk playing the Dad.

perfect casting!!

[tucomapache]

There is also a group by that name on Facebook real funny...

[pawnbroker]

Dad's are funny,my 70 year old dad called me this morning.He wants to start raising Mourning doves.He wants me to find out what they eat and what kind of house he will have to build for them. I dont know where that came from.He does stuff like that all the time.Last year he wanted to learn to count cards at blackjack.So we learned to count cards.

[bigfunkyg]

This is awesome.....

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

[mazolaman]

That is really funny.

[El Presidente]

from last night at Chateau Ayala

"Get together for a photo kids...1/2/3 ******"

Now go print out three copies and write some mothers day stuff on the back"

(Daughter) She will love it Dad.

"Yeah...covers all the bases...pulls at the heartstrings ....and costs me nothing".

[Warren]

from last night at Chateau Ayala

"Get together for a photo kids...1/2/3 ******"

Now go print out three copies and write some mothers day stuff on the back"

(Daughter) She will love it Dad.

"Yeah...covers all the bases...pulls at the heartstrings ....and costs me nothing".

There truly is a place in heaven for you my friend.

As a mater of fact if you listen hard you can probably hear the angel's chorus.

Nope I think there all just screaming

Noooooooooooooo

[Wiley]

anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples.

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

Yeah, some of its hysterical...

"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."

“You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullsh@t, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a sh@t about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law."

"It's just a f***ing june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a ******** attacks you?

[Minismithy]

anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples.

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

the book can be found here gargett:

http://www.amazon.com/Sh-t-My-Dad-Says/dp/0061992704/

[FlyingGlass]

I came across this audiobook on Itunes this morning at 5:30 am when I couldn't sleep. Did a doulbe take on the title, read a bit of the bio. Gave me a great laugh about the squirrell!

[Jesuscookies]

"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't **** makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the ******* back."