Ken Gargett Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples. "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Yeah fantastic stuff. Incidentally they're adapting it into a TV show with Captain Kirk playing the Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Yeah fantastic stuff. Incidentally they're adapting it into a TV show with Captain Kirk playing the Dad. perfect casting!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tucomapache Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 There is also a group by that name on Facebook real funny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawnbroker Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Dad's are funny,my 70 year old dad called me this morning.He wants to start raising Mourning doves.He wants me to find out what they eat and what kind of house he will have to build for them. I dont know where that came from.He does stuff like that all the time.Last year he wanted to learn to count cards at blackjack.So we learned to count cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfunkyg Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 This is awesome..... "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazolaman Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 That is really funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 from last night at Chateau Ayala "Get together for a photo kids...1/2/3 ******" Now go print out three copies and write some mothers day stuff on the back" (Daughter) She will love it Dad. "Yeah...covers all the bases...pulls at the heartstrings ....and costs me nothing". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warren Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 from last night at Chateau Ayala"Get together for a photo kids...1/2/3 ******" Now go print out three copies and write some mothers day stuff on the back" (Daughter) She will love it Dad. "Yeah...covers all the bases...pulls at the heartstrings ....and costs me nothing". There truly is a place in heaven for you my friend. As a mater of fact if you listen hard you can probably hear the angel's chorus. Nope I think there all just screaming Noooooooooooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiley Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples."That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." Yeah, some of its hysterical... "Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal." “You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullsh@t, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a sh@t about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law." "It's just a f***ing june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a ******** attacks you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minismithy Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 anyone follow this guy? i have seen bits and it seems very funny. don't do twitter but gather he has just done a book so will be chasing it. these were a few examples."That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f****ing." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." the book can be found here gargett: http://www.amazon.com/Sh-t-My-Dad-Says/dp/0061992704/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingGlass Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 I came across this audiobook on Itunes this morning at 5:30 am when I couldn't sleep. Did a doulbe take on the title, read a bit of the bio. Gave me a great laugh about the squirrell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesuscookies Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't **** makes you an idiot, not an optimist." “Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the ******* back." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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