can't keep a good imbecile down

[Ken Gargett]

who else but telstra!

get to the airport and phone goes. 'hi, i'm today's complete gibbering moron from telstra (at least that was what i heard). i need to check some details with you'

you rang me.

yes but i still need to check your details.

i'm not giving details to someone who just rings up and asks for them. what do you want?

today's imbecile then decides details will not be necessary. 'ringing about your relocation.'

you mean the one from two years ago which i have been trying, since then, to get through to you braindead imbeciles.

that would be the one.

what about it.

well, unfortunately, we cannot provide service to that location.

i've been here two years and you've managed so far. granted disgracefully poor service but nonetheless, we get it.

really?

yes.

oh.

so, if you can't provide service, i shouldn't be paying you?

have to speak to billing about that.

fat chance.

so then today's imbecile decides he doesn't know what to do about this.

i suggest loss of life and/or limb if he or telstra fiddle, tinker, cancel, 'fix', cock up anything. just leave it.

can't do that. have to do something.

how about you change the billing address as otherwise, i will not get your bills. the re-direct is about to run out very soon.

but we can't provide service to there.

i don't care. just send the bills.

and so it went. lord knows what i'll come back to. where do they find so many slobbering idiots?

[Guest rob]

Did I mention I have shares in Telstra?

[Ken Gargett]

Did I mention I have shares in Telstra?

SHAME!!! and serves you right for such a betrayal of humanity.

[smll2]

I have had internet problems the last few days...so I called The Geek Squad...a division of Best Buy. They perform a diagnostic over the phone. Before you get to the Geek you need to deal with the gal that collects the credit card info over the phone. The conversation went something like this....

Mr C...please give me your card #, expiration and three digit code on the back of the credit card.

.................American Express....4 digit code on the front...expires.

Pardon me Mr. C....I need the three digit code on the back of the card.

Mam...I'm looking at the card...front and back...no 3 digit code on the back...but there's a 4 digit code on the front of card.

Mr. C...I have to have the 3 digit code on the back of the card inorder to process the credit card. Give me the code!!!

Mam, it's an American Express card..they are different. They have a 4 digit code on the front.

Mr. C...I'm sorry to disagree with you...but I need the three digit code on the back of the card. If you don't give it to me I'm going to have to end this call.

At this point I had scracted the skin off on the left side of my arm...but I persevered.

Mam, please humour me just this one time...try the card with the 4 digit code and see if it goes thru.

Mr C...I will be back with you in a moment...silence.

Well your lucky Mr C. The charge went thru this time....

#$$$$#%%#^^$^$^$^^^^^

[Ken Gargett]

I have had internet problems the last few days...so I called The Geek Squad...a division of Best Buy. The perform a diagnostic over the phone. Before you get to the Geek you need to deal with the gal that collects the credit card info over the phone. The conversation went something like this....

Mr C...please give me your card #, expiration and three digit code on the back of the credit card.

.................American Express....4 digit code on the front...expires.

Pardon me Mr. C....I need the three digit code on the back of the card.

Mam...I'm looking at the card...front and back...no 3 digit code on the back...but there's a 4 digit code on the front of card.

Mr. C...I have to have the 3 digit code on the back of the card inorder to process the credit card. Give me the code!!!

Mam, it's an American Express card..they are different. They have a 4 digit code on the front.

Mr. C...I'm sorry to disagree with you...but I need the three digit code on the back of the card. If you don't give it to me I'm going to have to end this call.

At this point I have scracted the skin off on the left side of my arm...but I persevered.

Mam, please humour me just this one time...try the card with the 4 digit code and see if it goes thru.

Mr C...I will be back with you in a moment...silence.

Well your lucky Mr C. The charge went thru this time....

#$$$$#%%#^^$^$^$^^^^^

now there is a woman in training for telstra.

she would fail, however, for actully checking the four numbers. rookie mistake that no telstra imbecile would ever make.

[Smooth]

I feel the pain Ken. Have had the same experience over the last two months with Optus.

Had no service due to relocation for six weeks, bill for four of those weeks comes (via old adress even after changing it with them four times) and they charge me the full monthly amount for providing nothing! The line wasnt even connected to the pit!!!!

Half a dozen phone calls telling them Im not paying as I haven't been provided with a service has got me no-where. I dont care what these idiots say, they arent getting a cent for those 6 weeks...