Things to Say During a Colonoscopy

[DocRKS]

As some here are approaching that magical Half-Century mark and the next annual medical exam has the suggestion of a colonoscopy included in it.... I thought I'd bring back some comments to share with your Dr. during the procedure.......

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke,

but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.....

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients

(predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in some States and Territories, we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not ***.'

And the best one of all........

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

[Stalebread]

I love these.

Coincidentally, I just had a colonoscopy and endoscopy of the esophagus, stomach and duodenum done at the same time. Well, not the exact same time but anyway. General anesthesia so I was out for the entire deal. But as the doc was going over the procedures he said, "Don't worry, they use different tubes."

[kilroy]

Are we free to add our own?! If so:

"So doc... how long do you plan on being, 'almost there'?"

[FlyFishingDude]

"Is that your camera or are you just glad to see me ?"

[Warren]

Kevin is that you?

[cabaiguan juan]

"****."

[Fuzz]

Doctor, why are both your hands on my shoulders?...

Or in the case of a Sigmoidoscopy..

"Come on Doc!, Gimme 200 psi! I'm a man, I can take it!!"