an oldie but a goldie

[Ken Gargett]

i know this is an oldie but in case anyon missed it the first thirty times it did the rounds...

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a Louisiana State

University chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared

it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the student s wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how

many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that

exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their

religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can

project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,

we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law

states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the

same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all

Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must

be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen

over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,

extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine

being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[anacostiakat]

Yea that is an oldie but a goodie. Still makes me chuckle....

[Warren]

If you really had a student like that , regardless of weather he was right or wrong you'd have to give him an A

[Jay Hemingway]

excellent answer!