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Posted

just the messenger...

news report just in -

After his break up with Heather, Sir Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said that notwithstanding the unpleasantness of the divorce, he would still prefer it if we called her Heather.

in the interests of good taste, i have deleted the vast majority of tasteless, cruel, one might even say prosthetic jokes doing the rounds but a couple have been deemed marginally acceptable.

A miner in Africa recently had an accident and lost a leg. He reportedly said to his mate "I'm screwed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate suggested he call Sir Paul McCartney.

Finally, a major musical discovery has been made with the recent discovery of the lyrics to a previously unheard Beatles' song. the lyrics are attributed to John Lennon.

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt

and her leg fell in the river.

Posted

» Finally, a major musical discovery has been made with the recent discovery

» of the lyrics to a previously unheard Beatles' song. the lyrics are

» attributed to John Lennon.

yoko ono.

Posted

» » Finally, a major musical discovery has been made with the recent

» discovery

» » of the lyrics to a previously unheard Beatles' song. the lyrics are

» » attributed to John Lennon.

»

» yoko ono.

"shivers"

Guest Warren
Posted

I'm surprised that she got as much as she did in the settlement.

Considering she represented herself , I thought she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Posted

» I'm surprised that she got as much as she did in the settlement.

» Considering she represented herself , I thought she wouldn't have a leg to

» stand on.

Hopefully Sir Paul will find someone with more beauty and integrity to fill her shoe.

:lookaround:

Posted

» I'm surprised that she got as much as she did in the settlement.

» Considering she represented herself , I thought she wouldn't have a leg to

» stand on.

That's a bit of a knee-jerk reaction, wouldn't you say?

Though I can understand it - she is a blond.

Guest Warren
Posted

I understand that to make some extra cash she will be on Po- Going with the stars.

Posted

» I understand that to make some extra cash she will be on Po- Going with the

» stars.

I heard that as well, but she will be using her stage name....Eileen.

Posted

» » I understand that to make some extra cash she will be on Po- Going with

» the

» » stars.

»

» I heard that as well, but she will be using her stage name....Eileen.

Background music by The Shins.

Posted

» » » I understand that to make some extra cash she will be on Po- Going

» with

» » the

» » » stars.

» »

» » I heard that as well, but she will be using her stage name....Eileen.

»

» Background music by The Shins.

They'll be playing their hit "Phantom Limb" every time she hops on stage.

Posted

» » » I heard that as well, but she will be using her stage name....Eileen.

» »

» » Background music by The Shins.

»

» They'll be playing their hit "Phantom Limb" every time she hops on stage.

It's been reported that she likes to kick back with a game of tibial pursuit.

Posted

» » » » I heard that as well, but she will be using her stage

» name....Eileen.

» » »

» » » Background music by The Shins.

» »

» » They'll be playing their hit "Phantom Limb" every time she hops on

» stage.

»

» It's been reported that she likes to kick back with a game of tibial

» pursuit.

Femur?..I just met her!

Posted

» » It's been reported that she likes to kick back with a game of tibial

» » pursuit.

»

» Femur?..I just met her!

She loves hip-hop, her favorite song being Jump! by Kris Kros

Posted

» I'm surprised that she got as much as she did in the settlement.

» Considering she represented herself , I thought she wouldn't have a leg to

» stand on.

Well she sure got a leg up on him

Posted

» » » It's been reported that she likes to kick back with a game of tibial

» » » pursuit.

» »

» » Femur?..I just met her!

»

» She loves hip-hop, her favorite song being Jump! by Kris Kros

You sure? I always thought it was "Trip to my loo"

Posted

» I may be going out on a limb here, but I'd have to think she doesn't get

» much in the way

» of stocking stuffers at Christmas.

I'm sure she doesn't...but I did hear she's always first in line to get the turkey leg at Christmas dinner.

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