One for Lisa.

[Ziggy]

Three women were sitting naked in a sauna.

Two were young, one was a senior citizen.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

One of the young ladies pressed he forarm and the beeping stopped.

The others looked at he questioningly.

' That was my pager, she said, I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.'

A few minutes later, a phone rang.

The second young lady lifted her palm to her ear.

When she finished she explained, 'that was my mobile phone, I have a microchip in my hand.'

The older woman felt very low-tech.

Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rearend.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said," well, will you look at that...

I'M GETTING A FAX."!!:-D

Zig

[Colt45]

Here's one:

Q: How did the blonde get hurt drinking milk?

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A: The cow fell on top of her.

[Kingantz]

An 80 year old woman was getting married and a reporter had decided to do an interview with her. The reporter asked her what her new husband did for a living. She replied, "He's a funeral director." He then asked her if this was her first time getting married. After much thought she said, "No, I was first married to a successful banker back in my 20's. He passed, and I re-married to a circus ringmaster, that was when I was in my 40's. Unfortunately he passed on as well and in my 60's I married my third husband, God rest his soul. He was a preacher." The reporter asked the lady, "Do you mind my asking why such diversified husbands?" She said, "Well no I don't mind. There was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"

[Ken Gargett]

» An 80 year old woman was getting married and a reporter had decided to do

» an interview with her. The reporter asked her what her new husband did

» for a living. She replied, "He's a funeral director." He then asked her

» if this was her first time getting married. After much thought she said,

» "No, I was first married to a successful banker back in my 20's. He

» passed, and I re-married to a circus ringmaster, that was when I was in my

» 40's. Unfortunately he passed on as well and in my 60's I married my third

» husband, God rest his soul. He was a preacher." The reporter asked the

» lady, "Do you mind my asking why such diversified husbands?" She said,

» "Well no I don't mind. There was one for the money, two for the show,

» three to get ready, and four to go!"

i think we have a winner!

[First Lady]

Thanks sweetie I like that

[Kingantz]

» Thanks sweetie I like that

One for the President:

There were three construction workers sitting high up on a scaffold: an irishman, a mexican, and a blonde. The irishman opens his lunch and says, "Not another corned beef sandwich! If I get one more corned beef sandwich, I'm jumping off!" The Mexican opens his lunch and says, "Not another Burrito! If I get one more burrito, I'm jumping off!" The blonde opens his lunch and says, "Not another bologna sandwich! If I get one more bologna sandwich, I'm jumping off!"

The next day they're all sitting back high on the scaffold. The irishman opens his lunch and says, "Another corned beef!!" and jumps to his death. The mexican opens his and exclaims, "A burrito? Another burrito?!" and jumps. The blonde opens his and says, "Another bologna sandwich!!" and jumps as well.

Several days later the wives of the three are at the funeral. The irishman's wife says, "I could have given him a BLT!" The mexican's wife says, "I could have given him a taco or enchilada!" The blondes wife looks at them both and says, "Well don't look at me! He fixed his own lunch!"

:-P Happy Friday everyone!!