this week\'s tirade, the pies

Ken Gargett · September 22, 2007

rob wants a tirade, well this one is only relevant for afl fans, especially fans of the hapless pies. it is from an on-going communication bewteen myself and a mate who is a pies fan. pies fans may choose to disagree. the rest of us will just be happy that they have been dumped out again.

I have always believed that if a man is down, it is the best time to kick him, but if you disagree with anything here, please say so.

I am fed to the teeth with all this crap about how the Pies have over achieved and what a courageous effort and so on. They lost. And the deification of Buckley continues. Granted he is a very good player but he continues to fall woefully short of the legend that Pies sycophants would have us believe is now part of history, and for whatever reason, the AFL likes to promote.

Before you start, I’m first to accept that the Lions underachieved. A season with Brown fit all year and not making the finals is poor at best but no better or worse than the Pies in the wash-up. Both didn’t win the flag.

And as for this crap about over achieving, so the expectations of the Pies were that they would not win the flag nor even contest it? Well, that isn’t over achieving, it is achieving the miserable goals they set. Not even the inevitable bowing and scraping by the AFL to ensure every possible benefit for the Pies throughout the year got them home. A courageous loser is simply a ridiculous name for a loser. The Pies have failed again. How many finals have they lost when they should have won and how many have they been courageous losers? Way too many. As for this over achieving crap, they even fail with that in comparison with the Cats last night. The Cats have over achieved by so far more than the Pies. They were a disaster last year and almost sacked the coach. They have one bloke who has played a Grand final I think and a coach with no experience there. The Pies have huge finals experience and a coach who has seen almost 40 finals. Losers.

And as for King Buckley? For God’s sake, the bloke is a very good player but there have been plenty of them. He will leave footy without a flag; he can’t be that good. He made the momentous decision to leave the Lions because he wanted to play finals. Then the Lions played four Grand Finals without him. Did no one think to question his decision making then?

Oh, say the sycophants, he has a Brownlow and a Norm Smith. Big whoop. If that wasn’t a wind-assisted Brownlow, I’ll drink sauv blanc for a month. You can just imagine the pressure from the Pies officials throughout the year. What a shame if this great player didn’t get a Brownlow, nudge, nudge, wink wink. Talk about the hanging chad Brownlow. The pressure on the umps would have been immense. Shame.

And as for that Norm Smith... Well Castro and Mugabe have ‘won’ elections and they are as legit as Figjam’s medal. Did anyone watch that game? He played very well. Was probably the best Pie, but they LOST. Did no one notice that? Oh, he is a Pies legend, he must have a Norm Smith. This was the game where Keating came back from a year out to scrape a spot on the bench and then McDonald went down in the first minute and Keating had to play the full game. And drove the Lions forward time after time. Best game I have ever seen from a ruckman. Magnificent. And they give the medal to Buckley for courageous losing! Then Voss. He has dragged the Lions across the line for the flag, won it, but he is not a Pie and not a courageous loser. Think he’d rather the 3 flags to a tainted Norm Smith.

Think of any great sportsman. Is there one who has not got himself or his team over the line to win the biggest comps and games? Buckley never manages it. I saw Gretzky play and the class and balance and skill he had stood out over all. When I lived in the States, well before the Bulls had won the basketball comp even once, I used to watch them all the time because it was clear that a bloke called Jordan was something special. And he went on to how many wins? When Henry fronted the Gunners, you always expected that when they went forward, he would do something brilliant and score. When Ponting walks out, you expect to win. Same with Loane. What about King Wally? How he lifted his teammates to win after win against supposedly superior NSW-men. Buckley? Never. Voss, absolutely.

How you could honestly think that Buckley is a superior player to Voss is beyond me. Both talented but when Voss walked on the field, you expected to win and you knew that if it was close, he was likely to be the difference. Never think that with Figjam. Buckley is happy with the mantle of brave loser; Voss never accepted that. How many games, big games, did he lift and make the crucial difference? Drag the Lions over the line? Think the 03 prelim v Swans, or the 02 Grand Final (and 01) and many, many more. How many big games has Buckley won. Bugger all. And again last night, he failed when it most counted. If Voss had been playing instead of Buckley, every chance that the Pies would be in the final.

If you had to pick a player to play for your life, I’d be very comfortable with Voss, scared senseless if I had Buckley.

Just a few thoughts to help you through this difficult day but no doubt, like all true Pies fans, you have comforted yourself with the knowledge that they were courageous losers. Next year, I suspect you’ll be able to wrap yourself in exactly the same comfort but a few weeks earlier.