EAR: relationships and cigars

[MrBirdman]

Unlike behaviors such as drug use, cigars don’t make your life unmanageable. They also aren’t compulsive like cigarettes, so they’re easy to work around. If you have a loving and healthy relationship, I think you should be able to come to an agreement that respects her olfactory boundaries while allowing you to still enjoy cigars (even if less frequently or comfortably). I have to jump through an extra hoop or two because of my relationship with a cigar-hater who asked me to stop. Once I pointed out that I didn’t smoke more than 2-3 times a month and could easily do so unobtrusively, the issue was resolved. For now at least 😆! 

Seriously, inflexibility over something that doesn’t meaningfully harm you, your partner, or your property is a red flag. But I would also say that you are you and your relationship is unique - examine whether giving up cigars or drastically cutting back would have meaning for YOU as well, as a reminder of your commitment to your new spouse. I wager most people here will find that logic utterly insane, but love can make people do crazy things! Just be true to yourself and your relationship.

Good luck!

[westg]

I was upfront from the beginning. I am a stinky cigar smoker. If you are honest and upfront about everything from the beginning then it shouldn't be a problem. Sure you can compromise...go outside, change your clothes, shower, don't smoke inside the car etc, etc, etc. It's an easy decision for me, if this solely is the underlying decision on a marriage proposal, then for the love of Christ give cigars away and go for the girl.  

[westg]

Only joking. Be true to yourself. I know that no person can change the fact that I will always smoke cigars. It makes me happy.  

[Ford2112]

9 hours ago, westg said:

for the love of Christ give the girl away and go for the cigars.  

Fixed it for you.