EAR: Work Life balance?

[El Presidente]

EAR = Email Assistance Required. 

 

I put the following email up to the forum as many of us have been here (or are here!). There is no one answer. Jump in if you can add a little of your own experience. 

 

"I just wanted to say how much I respect you and everyone here. I’m new to the forum, but I’m really impressed by how willing folks are to share their experiences in such a chill and respectful way.

So, I’m 34 and born and raised in Austin. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Marketing, and I teamed up with a buddy to start a small firm that helps out SMEs. We’ve got around sixty clients now, and things really took off about two years ago, especially with the COVID rebound. I’m finally in a spot where I can treat myself to a box of Trinidad cigars every now and then!

But here’s the kicker: I’m working over 60 hours a week, and it’s starting to weigh on my girlfriend, my friends, and my overall health—both mentally and physically. I’m reaching out because I see so many of you here are business owners and entrepreneurs. How did you all navigate this busy phase? Any nuggets of wisdom you can share?

Thanks a bunch!"

[JohnS]

The way I got through this situation in my twenties was to motivate myself by focussing on what I could control. Those things I couldn't control, I let the worry/stress pass as being anxious about it didn't change anything. Mind you, I've definitely had times of stress in my current white-collar job, but this situation concerned a blue-collar job I undertook prior to my current career, when we were on a large civil telecommunications project rollout, which initially was run by a subsidiary company and the stress happened when there was a change of management/ownership. The change in work culture/conditions induced a number of resignations. 

The things I did were:

1. I decided I was going to leave on my terms. This meant finding another job and leaving when I was ready.
2. maintain a good attitude towards my work responsibilities so that I left on good terms. This meant focussing on the parts of the job I enjoyed and did well.
3. politely set my boundaries to protect my mental health. If I was asked to do extra, I would say "no" indirectly in a way that didn't cause extra unnecessary work stress/conflict.

It sounds like the situation here is slightly different as I was an employee but some of the same principles apply. The question may be how to renegotiate this partnership or move on from it. Or live with it. It depends what the ultimate goal is here.

[Wookie]

I worked in corporate private equity for 10 years up to 80-90 hours a week…flying all over the planet….one day Japan trips etc. I left when I was 36 and started my own investment shop in commercial real estate. It’s much mellower than the corporate world. If you can find investors it’s a pleasant but more boring ride. The corporate world is 24-7. Now I paint and lament I left some money on the table. But I’m happier. And work much less. Much. Good luck to you!

[El Presidente]

I always advise to put in the hours/work in your late 20's and 30's. For most in the corporate sphere, this is the period in which you cement your career and your financial future. There is a price to pay and that is often time away from your family. You do the best you can to balance family/health but if your goal is to cement economic certainty, you generally need to prioritise career. I am not sure there is another way. Now once you have deep roots set in your field of endeavour, you can alter your head up display. But, jeez, those 30's in the corporate world need the hours. 

What's the saying? You can pay now, or pay later, but you are going to pay. 

[Shakey]

Similar to the above sentiments, you have to decide what you want. Started my career at a big firm where 60 hours was a light week and it was bad for health and relationships. Did that for 6-7 years until I could go to an even bigger company where hours were more predictable but consistent at 50ish. Then started my own thing and was back into constant work. Retired under 50 so it was worth it to me. 

My only two bits of advice are (1) have a consistent exercise schedule even if it is just a mile run a few times a week and (2) have a significant other/spouse who shares your goals and understands the amount of effort it takes to get from here to there.  

[BrightonCorgi]

Remarry someone rich.

[Lamboinee]

Three tips that have helped me avoid the burnout of a job that requires churn n burn for success:

1) I do not put any work email accounts on my phone. I only answer work emails from a desktop/laptop....I thought this would be a disaster, but I LOVE IT!

2) When my wife says she wants to take a vacation or a trip, I find a way to say "yes" rather than automatically saying "it's impossible" or "I don't think I can I fit it in my schedule".... Take as many vacations as you can, and add extra days to your email auto responder so you have a built-in excuse to not responding quickly to emails for extra days after your vacation.

3) I know it feels like you're the only one that can do things "the right way". It may also be true that you're the only one that can do something the "best way". But, in reality, most people don't care about most things and oftentimes things turn out just fine if it gets done in a way that is "less than perfect". So, find someone, almost anyone, that won't steal from you and won't lie and ask them to do some of the stuff that you have been doing yourself. At first, they might not do it as well as you would have. They might not ever do it as well as you could. But, you'll realize that what they do is good enough. And most of the time, that'll be sufficient.

[ShaazK]

Mate. I respectfully disagree with anyone that tries to convince you that there’s such a thing as work/life balance in the first few years of a startup.

The startup IS your life. Emails, calls, clients etc are your universe for as many hours a day that you can handle and stay focused and functional. If it’s too much, you should be hiring people to take some load off.

Don’t be under the illusion that entrepreneurship is a 9-5 job. It’s not. It’s 24/7 for years and that’s how you succeed.

Also if it’s your passion it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Your family should see the obsession in your eyes and totally understand that you want to crush it now so you can enjoy the fruit later.

Yes, you will slow down as you grow, hire, delegate etc. for now my advice is to push as hard as you can viably handle but DO NOT FORGET TO HIRE AND DELEGATE EFFECTIVELY.
.


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[chasy]

I remember I heard a lecture at some point by some successful guy or some such. He made the surfing analogy. The best surfers wait for the right wave and only then start to paddle. The novice surfer tries to catch every wave and is too preoccupied and or tired to catch the best wave of the day. I agree that there is truth to picking your spots.