blonde jokes - just the messenger

[Ken Gargett]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor.  “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.  She pushed her knee and screamed; 
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.

Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”

“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”

“I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”  

 

 

 

A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.  
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”

 

 

 

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked
her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde.  “They're watchdogs.”    

 

 

 

In the swim-meet, after 
the blond came in last competing in the breast-stroke,  she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.

[westg]

The first one is a doosey .,😂😂

[garbandz]

My blonde secretary is having a really bad day.

She has a tampon behind her ear, and can't find her pencil anywhere......