Friday Funny: And then the fight started.

[El Presidente]

 Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,   Grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
 I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
 The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned  on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
 I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into  bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,  and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
 My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my  husband Is out fishing in that?'

[madandana]

DI !   ?

[BlackFriar]

Dallas TX(AP) - A 7 year old boy was at the center of a court room drama yesterday when he challenged the court’s ruling of who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and was initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beats him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he should live with his grandparents, the boy cried and then stated they beat him also.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life for them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

[cigcars]

   * (Hope this one's okay, Moderators):

     A flea with a bad cold and sniffles came upon his buddy flea and found him luxuriating with lotion, spreading pampering oils on his person, etc. The sick flea asks his friend how and why he's having it great while he, himself is sick. "Well, where were you when you got sick?" asks the self-pampering flea. "I was in this guy's mustache and he was a Satan's Biker, speeding like Hell on his motor bike. And I caught this terrible cold." "Well," said his flea friend, "what you need to do is find a woman's 'area' - you know what I mean. Settle yourself in the hairs on her crotch and you'll be warm and well, very well protected from all elements."  So - some time passed, the pampering flea was still spreading lotions and aromatic oils on himself - and surprise - his friend comes by trembling, sneezing, coughing...in even worse shape than ever! "What happened!?" asked his flea friend. "Well, I found this woman's 'area', settled myself in, was warm and comfortable...and the next thing I know, I'm in this guy's mustache..."

[cigcars]

On 8/30/2018 at 7:21 PM, BlackFriar said:

Dallas TX(AP) - A 7 year old boy was at the center of a court room drama yesterday when he challenged the court’s ruling of who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and was initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beats him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he should live with his grandparents, the boy cried and then stated they beat him also.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life for them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

     Was reading a comic magazine of humor some time back, and it was covering the spate of stories of zombie or walking dead attacks, and how nearly nothing could stop them, with their victim count rising higher and higher. Yet - it seemed that only swinging a wooden board or bat with near perfect precision was capable of stopping them. Which is why the Seattle Mariners were the first to die!