Friday Funny#2

[OZCUBAN]

Perfect Day !!

6:00 Alarm

6:10 Massive, satisfying dump while reading the sports section of the Herald Sun

6:30 Shampoo, shower, shave

7:00 Breakfast - bacon and poached eggs, coffee and toast - all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Couple of ice-cold Crownies en route to the airport

8:00 Flight in personal Lear jet - finest single malt Scotch served in Waterford crystal sniffer by green-eyed redhead with big ****

9:30 Limo to Royal Melbourne Golf Club

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

11:45 Lunch - steak and lobster, couple of ice-cold Crownies and bottle of vintage Dom Pérignon (1953)

12:20 Breaking News: Kevin Rudd discovered to be on Malaysia flight 370

12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

2:15 Limo back to airport (several Crownies)

2:30 Fly to Gold Coast

2:40 News Flash: Julia Gillards plane shot down over Syria, apprehended by Isis

4:00 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) on light tackle

5:00 Fly home, massage by naked Elle Macpherson

6:45 ****, shower, shave and shine

6:55 News Flash: Christine Milne announced as Australias 1st Ebola victim

7:00 Watch news Bill Shorten assassinated

7:30 Dinner - lobster appetisers, Dom Pérignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of ****

9:40 News Flash: Adam Bandt and entourage missing after speaking engagement in Strahan Tasmania

11:00 Massage and jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing Crownie

11:30 Night cap

11:35 Abbott resigns

11:45 In bed alone

11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep....can't wait for tomorrow .

Thanks to my mate Gary

[Fuzz AI]

Typical Lib bias! Kill off ALP and Greens ministers, but Abbott only resigns!

Now don't me wrong, I'm not saying killing off ALP and Greens ministers is bad, but fair's fair. Kill off the lot of them!!

A truly perfect would have ended with Parliament House being destroyed in a bomb blast during a full sitting of Question time.

[Ubergosupro69]

No cigar?

[cigcars]

Wow. Are you S-U-U-R-R-E you don't want to be pampered and spoiled just a little bit??? So spartan and religiously "vow-of-poverty" laden