Wasp Attack


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i am an idiot. i am a complete idiot. i could not keep something secret if my life depended on it. i have completely made this up.

ken popped in Monday afternoon for the wine and cigar reviews, he was in full flight complaining about nigh on everything (he is catapulting toward his 60's so we cut him some slack) but the Wasp Atack story had us in stitches :D

You have to picture Kens house. Once a gorgeous house set in a well maintained forest setting with a gentle stream as a backdrop... today it is akin to an ancient ruin set in the deepest Amazon. The wildlife avoid the house (too dangerous), and our request for Bear Grylls to shoot an episode of Man Vs Wild (get from front of the house to back of the house) was knocked back as being simply too dangerous.

Ken was doing some gardening/maintenance (that is code for a napalm drop) and he was wearing his "house Jeans". They are the jeans with hole in the crotch which extends to his knee. It is a work of art and thankfully his mum has banned him from leaving the house in them as it scares the local children.

I can't recall exactly how it happened but he was set upon by a nest of Wasps. They went straight for the hole in his Jeans and ran a series of hit and run attacks :rotfl:

Ken has now sworn of any further gardening (he gave up on cleaning some time ago).

Bear Grylls was right :D

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had a bee fly up the leg of my shorts one summer. i was sitting on the couch it stung me high up on my inner thigh without warning and without me knowing it was there. All of a sudden I started hopping around, screaming and clawing at my crotch. My mother accused me of tripping on acid! looking back it must have been hilarious, but it was not much fun at the time.

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I can sympathize. I remember getting into my car one day and as soon as I sat down it felt like someone had left a tack on the seat. As I reached around, or under, to remove said tack I was quickly "tacked" again in the finger. Quickly I realized it was not a tack but a very angry yellow jacket. I figured that out by determining that tacks don't usually "buzz". I was sore for a good week and always check the seat before I sit down any more.

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We had hornets in the parking lot I used to patrol in Atlanta. One of our fellow law enforcement persons, a deputy sheriff, said without hesitation that if one of those hornets flew up into his pant leg, "You'll watch me get naked real quick!" implying matter-of-factly too bad about delicate witnesses!

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A BBQ is on Ken's "To Do " List.

From 1978.

fat chance! i'd never get you off my balcony.

actually, despite the ridiculous licence taken with the garbage ayala has espoused here, i did have a rather awkward moment in thailand a few years back. was handed a massive, massive python to hold for a photo. this thing was huge. i was wearing shorts and the thing was draped over me. i was holding the head as firmly as i could without annoying it too much and we were staring aat each other. i wasn't game to do anything else. suddenly a huge uproar from around but i had no idea what was happening. very soon learnt. seems the python sent its tail off to explore and it had gone right up the shorts. i was so focused, i did not realise it until it found something to curl around. a big shock. the snake was promptly removed and given back to the handlers.

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"awkward moment in thailand..."

"handed a massive, massive python..."

"i was holding the head..."

"we were staring at each other..."

"gone right up the shorts..."

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. You don't half leave yourself open to smutty innuendo, do you? :P

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Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. You don't half leave yourself open to smutty innuendo, do you? :P

Ken and his massive python.

There is a chapter of his book that I will be skiping :D

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