from the washington post

[Ken Gargett]

anyone got any cigar related ones?

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) amen!!!

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. ********, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

[cigcars]

Interesting - and inventive

[mazolaman]

Smoke ring - group who meet, often in caves, to perform the illicit and illegal activity of smoking cigars...

edit

smoke wring - when a partner strangles someone, over the arrival of yet another box in the post.

Going ashtray - quietly sneeking out to your mancave for a smoke, without telling anyone.

[Chaki]

The ashtray one is excellent!

[Hohenthal]

Smoke ring - group who meet, often in caves, to perform the illicit and illegal activity of smoking cigars...

edit

smoke wring - when a partner strangles someone, over the arrival of yet another box in the post.

Going ashtray - quietly sneeking out to your mancave for a smoke, without telling anyone.

ring and wring -

hilarious!

[Chaki]

CDS: credit default swap

cigar default swap: standard Czar customer policy for replacing faulty cigars

Robusto: a well-endowed Cuban male

Robusto extra: a really well-endowed Cuban male

Cohita: Cuban slang for sexual intercourse

Part-a-gas: Cuban joke about the Government rationing of gasoline

[CigarB]

Trinidud - Describes the idea of discontinuing certain Trinidad's

Habanose - One with a great nose for cuban cigars

Montecrisco - Great new baking/frying product

[Quint]

That is hilarious thanks for sharing, some very clever people out there

Vegas Rogaina- Balding men with a gambling problem

[Quint]

CDS: credit default swap

cigar default swap: standard Czar customer policy for replacing faulty cigars

Robusto: a well-endowed Cuban male

Robusto extra: a really well-endowed Cuban male

Cohita: Cuban slang for sexual intercourse

Part-a-gas: Cuban joke about the Government rationing of gasoline

Robusto Gordo: Hung like a Cuban Donkey

[IcedCanuck]

nice list, a lot of good ones actually

[Marker]

This list has been out a long long time. Still great but nothing new has been added for 6 years.

[Chaki]

898 Vanished: popular Cuban movie in which 1000 guerrilleros left to fight Batista's army and only 102 came back

898 Unvanished: the sci-fi sequel to the previous movie when the 898 guerrilleros miraculously reappear alive

Boyo de Monterrey: Cuban adaptation of the Hollywood classic movie "the Kid from Cincinnati"

Pinch: brand of low-end cigars popular among low-income Cuban people

Dalia Lama: name of the Regional Edition for Tibet (it's a skinny)

[Ken Gargett]

i think vegas rogaina the current winner.

[mazolaman]

898 Vanished: popular Cuban movie in which 1000 guerrilleros left to fight Batista's army and only 102 came back

898 Unvanished: the sci-fi sequel to the previous movie when the 898 guerrilleros miraculously reappear alive

Boyo de Monterrey: Cuban adaptation of the Hollywood classic movie "the Kid from Cincinnati"

Pinch: brand of low-end cigars popular among low-income Cuban people

Dalia Lama: name of the Regional Edition for Tibet (it's a skinny)

Excellent, particularly Dalia Lama....

[Ken Gargett]

Excellent, particularly Dalia Lama....

fair point. a tie, amongst many excellent efforts.

[CanuckSARTech]

Man, some good stuff there! Thanks for sharing, KBG!