Who said Poetry is boring?

[El Presidente]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION

ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME

WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,

AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other

-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[khomeinist]

#7 is the chorus to my new theme song.

Rock on.

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

I found poetry at school to be very boring; some of it was equivalent to attempting to learn a foreign language. The curriculum should have included some of the above pearlers.

[mazolaman]

Love is like a red red rose,

which matches the colour of your nose...

[khomeinist]

How I yearn to gaze at your flesh under this pale harvest moon!

But first let me gouge out my eyes with this dull wooden spoon.

[mazolaman]

In Which film,set in Australia,is this famous A E Housman(a Shropshire lad) poem quoted at the end?

INTO my heart on air that kills

From yon far country blows:

What are those blue remembered hills,

What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,

I see it shining plain,

The happy highways where I went

And cannot come again.

[Leopolis Semper Fidelis]

In Which film,set in Australia,is this famous A E Housman(a Shropshire lad) poem quoted at the end?

INTO my heart on air that kills

From yon far country blows:

What are those blue remembered hills,

What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,

I see it shining plain,

The happy highways where I went

And cannot come again.

Walkabout

[gginflo]

You're the girl in my dreams, I have all the luck,

till I open my eyes, and think what the heck have I gotten myself into?

[cigcars]

Hmmm Well taking the liberty, thanks to the above 2 posts, I would like to add what was emailed to me about a little old lady in the 1940's who wrote a poem about Carnation Milk. Carnation company was running a contest when their canned milk had just come out, and they wanted a jinglet that would rhyme with "Carnation Milk is Best of All." They were offering $5,000 to whomever's jinglet was selected. The little old lady, who'd worked in her dairy job since she was old enough to walk figured, "I can do this. Hell, I know about dairies and milk and such." She sent in her entry and several weeks later a black limo pulled up outside her home. The representative gave her a check for $2,000. "Carnation LOVED your entry. We are here to award you $2,000. We LOVED your entry but we will never be able to use it!"

"CARNATION MILK IS THE BEST OF ALL

NO **** TO PULL, NO HAY TO HAUL

NO BUCKETS TO WASH, NO **** TO PITCH

JUST POKE A HOLE IN THE SON OF A *****!"

[rdb6]

It is hilarious the tears are rolling down my face.

[PigFish]

Your hair I love holdin', your eyes sparkly like wine; its why I married you Honey.

Your dowry is golden, your fathers a swine; the harlots are waitin', now send me the money!

[Ken Gargett]

all reminds me of a mate who says he has been happily married for 40 years. unfortunately his wife hasn't.