Is a Pop-Tart a ravioli?
Is cereal a soup?
Which chicken wing is better: drum or flat?
Drums.
How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
I actually butter both slices before putting jelly on one, and pb on the other.
How crispy should bacon be?
The best bacon is at the magical point halfway between crispy and floppy.
How do you take eggs out of the carton?
I was unaware there was some global controversy over this.
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
I’ve had pineapple on a pizza before. It was ok. Not great, but ok.
Does ranch belong on pizza?
Ranch is disgusting on anything.
How should you eat pizza?
Pizza, like ribs, should only be eaten with your hands.
Is deep dish a pizza or a casserole?
Pizza.
Should you eat mac and cheese with a fork or spoon?
Fork.
Does ketchup belong on a hot dog?
Absolutely not! If you put ketchup on a hotdog, the terrorists win.
Are burgers and hot dogs sandwiches?
Yes. Is this a real question?
Is it a sub, hoagie or hero?
All three are acceptable.
What do you call the end slice on a loaf of bread?
We’ve always called it the heel. Maybe it’s a Midwest thing, like pop.
How do you pronounce caramel?
Care-uh-mel? Do I walk around all day wearing a monocle and a top hat? No. It’s car-mel.
In-n-Out or Shake Shack?
In-n-Out, but it still doesn’t live up to the massive hype surrounding it.
Where do you put the cheese on a burger?
Directly above the meat.
Should chili have beans?
I’m not scared to mess with Texas, chili is better with beans.
How do you slice bagels?
Huh?!?
Did millennials ruin everything?
Ok, Boomer. Nothing makes me feel so old as blaming young people for everything.