understanding rugby

[Ken Gargett]

the last two are kiwi-specific.

RUGBY TERMINOLOGY

‘Bag Snatching’

When grown men grab other grown men’s testicles at the bottom of a ruck in order to give them a good stretch.

‘Eye Balling’

When a supposedly evolved human being inserts their thumb in another human beings eye in order to fine tune their vision – sometimes referred to as The Loey or getting Burgered

‘Doing the Hoppy’

When a player inserts his index finger into the anus of another player in order for them to drop the ball from sheer shock….or pleasure depending upon their persuasion

‘Wedgie’

Whereby one player lifts another player by the waist band of his shorts, thereby separating his buttocks and testicles from his torso

‘Slippering’

Where a Neanderthal masquerading as a rugby player takes it upon himself to permanently scar, maim or paralyse another player thru the over rigorous use of their Spaldings

‘Hail Mary’

When one player passes the ball to another player just in time to watch him get flattened and dismembered by an opposition tackler… most effective when applied to skinny, good looking backs.

‘Up n Under’

Something you don’t want to be anywhere near when a demented Springbok lock alters his trajectory to ensure he achieves maximum contact with your groin region

‘Toweling’

Strangely, nothing to do with the after match locker room celebrations, but refers to when one rugby team wipes the floor with another team ….score wise

‘Stiff Arm’

As above, not what it might suggest, but refers to having your head separated from your torso by the swinging arm of above said Springbok

‘Rucking’

The uniquely familiar form of players celebrating a great victory ….best performed on anyone but wives and girlfriends, and after the consumption of a slab of beer and beef Vindaloo

‘Choking’

The unique talent of losing 5 RWC’s in a row when you were meant to have won all of them

The Haka

The disturbing sight of 15 fully grown men emulating 3 year olds on a sugar high

[anacostiakat]

What! No Atomic Wedgie?

[aavkk]

I wore a cup playing baseball over the years but it sounds like I would need to wear another one on backwards and a pair of goggles if I'm gonna get anywhere near a rugby field.

[Vinny]

‘Eye Balling’

When a supposedly evolved human being inserts their thumb in another human beings eye in order to fine tune their vision – sometimes referred to as The Loey or getting Burgered

I love the "Burger" one...