Three Guys Walked Into A Bar.....

[Ken Gargett]

And when they pay, you get to spend as you wish rather than as the wife wishes!! Sounds like a good life to me!!! (Although I'm more of a Krug man myself rather than Bolli.).

now i need to hasten to correct a small misapprehesion that appears to have snuck in here. as much as i do love bolly, and had a terrific 90 over the break, i am and remain an absolute devotee of krug - a krugiste, if you like (though sadly had a dodgy 88 - one of my absolute faves - over chrostmas). pol also rates highly. but a good krug is peerless.

[cvm4]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food in here.'

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:'A beer please, and one for the road.'

And yup, I stole them...

[Jokermann]

A guy walks into a bar and say to the bartender, "Quick, I need 7 beers and 7 shots of whiskey!!"

The bartender pours the drinks fast, and the guy downs all the drinks without even taking a breath.

The bartender says, "Jesus son, why are you drinking like that??"

The guy replies, 'If you had what I have, you would be drinking like this as well."

The bartender thinks for a second, and just has to ask, "Well, what you got son?"

The guy replies, "One dollar."

[Colt45]

A guy with a steering wheel hanging out the front of his pants walks into a bar.

The bartender sees him and says "pal, do you realize you have a steering wheel hanging out the front of your pants?"

"Yeah" replies the guy. "It's driving me nuts!"

[Fuzz]

A guy walks into a bar with a pile of doggy-doo in his hands and says, "Hey everyone! Look what I nearly stepped into!"

[Ken Gargett]

A guy walks into a bar with a pile of doggy-doo in his hands and says, "Hey everyone! Look what I nearly stepped into!"

that is the worst. i'm still going with the very first one.

[Fuzz]

that is the worst. i'm still going with the very first one.

Really? Well it's gonna get worse...

A guy walks into a bar and hops on a stool. The bartender snarls, "What'll you have?"

The guy says, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender spits and says "We don't have grapes here, we serve drinks, now get out!"

The guy hops off the stool and walks out.

The next day, the same guy walks into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, irritated, says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve grapes here, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!"

The guy hops off the stool and walks out.

The next day, the same guy walks into the same bar and hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, infuriated, pounds his fist on the bar and yells at the guy, "I told you two times we don't serve grapes here, we serve drinks! If you ask me that ONE

MORE TIME I'm going to nail your lips to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"

With that, the guy shrugged, hopped off the stool and walks out.

The next day, the same guy walks into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any nails?"

The bartender, puzzled, says no.

The guy then looks him square in the eye and says, "Got any grapes?"

[GoSteelers]

A baby seal walks into a club.

A horse walks into a bar, bartender looks at him and says "Hey pal why the long face"

[Van55]

A skeleton walks into a bar. He says, "Give me a beer and a mop."

[Fuzz]

A baby seal walks into a club.

A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

The baby seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club..."

[SmokinAl]

An Englishman, and Australian and an American walk ino a bar. The barman says "What is this, some kind of joke?"