Bears

[El Presidente]

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as

chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University

in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for

coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people

isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to

preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an

experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a

bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the

experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on

crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs,

goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find

me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from

the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me

and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy

water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he

became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week

to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with

an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best

fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you

KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a

bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY

WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took

HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one

hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.

So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.And just

like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the

rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a

hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's

and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad

shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it,

circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

[mkz]

Moral of the story:

Some things should be left the way they were made by nature.