Oldie, but Goodie

[Wiley]

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49.

Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.

Athletic ...................... No breasts

Average looking .......... Moooo.

Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure ... On medication.

Feminist .................... Fat

Free spirit .................. Junkie

Friendship first .......... Former ****.

New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places

Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.

Open-minded ............. Desperate

Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional .............. *****

Voluptuous ................ Very Fat

Huge frame ............... Hugely Fat

Wants soul mate ....... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm ***

[Havana Joe]

[genevapics]

Well done my friend... well done!

[NJLimoDriver]

:-D

[caudio51]

Those are hilarious! :-D

[El Presidente]

!ROTFLMAO!

Should be taught in schools ;-)

[Elric]

Now that was funny!

[mulberry]

that is great, keep up the good work