DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA ( warning colourful language )

[OZCUBAN]

DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in

Karratha, Western Australia.

Now this is a town that knows how to live!

Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.

I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.

It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today.

No problem though.. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned

car.

What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a

sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots

of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but

I love it here. It's Paradise!

October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.

How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy

though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we

expected.

October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over

60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do..

Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I

left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work,

Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the

upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat ****. I've learned my

lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant ******* blow

dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and

the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order

parts from ******* Perth ......The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't

arrived for the ******* air conditioner. House is an oven so we've all been

sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we

can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4 - Finally got the ******* air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500

and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes

it feel about 35. Stupid repairman. ******* thief.

November 8 - If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm

going to ******* throttle him. ******* heat! By the time I get to work, the

car radiator is boiling over, my ******* clothes are soaking ******* wet and

I smell like baked cat. ******* place is the end of the Earth.

November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on

the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my ******* arse was on

fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off

my ******* arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked

cat.

****. ****.. ****.

November 10 -- The Weather report might as well be a ******* recording.. Hot

and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and ******* sunny. It never ******* changes!

It's been too hot to do anything for 2 ******* months and the weatherman

says it might really warm up next week. ****!

November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ******* place? Water

restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and

blow into the ******* pool. The only things that thrive in this *******

hell-hole are the ******* flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of

swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20 - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 ****in' degrees today. Now the

air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said,

'Hot enough for you today?' I wanted to shove the ******* car up his *******

arse. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of

jail for assaulting the stupid prick.

******* Karratha! What kind of sick, demented ******* idiot would want to

live here!

December 1 - WHAT!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!

You are ******* kidding me

[cooper669]

Note to self: DON'T MOVE TO AUSTRALIA!

[planetary]

"Pommie" as in the regions of old Pomerania, along the Baltic Sea?

[OZCUBAN]

"Pommie" as in the regions of old Pomerania, along the Baltic Sea?

Aussie slang POM Prisoner of mother England any one originating from England is referred to as a Pom

[planetary]

Aussie slang POM Prisoner of mother England any one originating from England is referred to as a Pom

Wow, what an interesting origin.

...Damn Redcoats.

[Rye]

That little read made me laugh pretty good!

Maybe the poor Pom should move out this way. At least he's get -35c as well as +35c... Sometimes in the same week

[jwr0201]

Laughed so hard almost choked! Now THIS is damn funny! Loved the baked cat, by the way! Well done!

[MIKA27]

"Pommie" as in the regions of old Pomerania, along the Baltic Sea?

As in OzCuban

Glad to see youre keeping a diary Steve...

[Overproof]

I lost my **** over this! So good!

[Drguano]

I've been to Karratha. I remember that we threw the plastic chairs into the pool and sat neck deep wearing wide brimmed straw hats to keep cool.

[Akela3rd]

Still better than fookin' Leeds though...

(I'm originally from Carlisle, I'm allowed)

[btp1979]

Man I was hoping for cheerleaders!

[Ralphanator]

That was a very funny story but sad as well! I Can't stand the heat as well as it gets up to 100F in the summer which is around the corner.