dumb and dumber in perth

[Ken Gargett]

3rd test underway. both capts say they'd send the opposition in. warnie, who has some idea, astounded. a flat, good pitch with a little life in the first session. both capts are braindeead for mine.

we go in with no spinner, other than a part time debutant all rounder. we are beyond help.

then having sent the aussies in and having them 1-4 and seriously if he can get ponting early then it is all over, strauss leaves a massive gap in the slips. chappell having a fit, rightly so.

sure enough, ponting on zero, dollies through the gap. should have been gone for zip. next ball, moves a man there. horse could have been out the barn and over the hill.

next over, takes that man away and again ponting puts it there - if not for the brilliant catch by collingwood then strauss would be revealed as the hopeless capt he is.

in comes clarke, out goes the slip - for god's sake, where is the killer instinct? - and another goes thro the slips.

i see clarke is out - lord knows how - so it is not costing england but make these stupid errors against a good side and they'd soon learn where strauss stands.

[Ken Gargett]

any doubts about how far we've fallen, the last time australia was sent in at home was by pakistan and by coincidence, we were 5-78 in that innings as well. but never fear, we finished around 400 thanks to langer and gilchrist. the chances of finishing around 400 with this mob are so remote...

a few years ago, you knew if a few failed, someone would step up. now, the mind boggles.

spoke to an old mate the other day, who was chairman of selectors for qld for 5 years, and the astonishment that in our lifetimes, we could actually truthfully say that we have been completely outfielded by england... it is inconceiveable. that doesn't mean that there won't be years when we might not win the ashes but even if we lost, you knew we would at least have been the far superior fielding side. now. dire.

and where would we be without the magnificent hussey. doesn't he deserve better.

[tigger]

I was always under the impression that you folks in Oz spoke English. My mistake.

[dicko]

I grew up thinking winning the Ashes was automatic, I hate the reality!

[winelover]

I think it would be best for the Aussies to take a 4-0 hammering Then following an unprecedented home series comprehensive defeat a proud sporting nation would inevitably conduct its own Spanish Inquisition and some very good questions would be asked of team members and selectors as regards what the hell went wrong. The rebuilding won't happen overnight and the Summer 2012 (Olympic) Ashes might come around a little too soon. After all us Poms want the Ashes to stay competitive don't we

[Ken Gargett]

I think it would be best for the Aussies to take a 4-0 hammering Then following an unprecedented home series comprehensive defeat a proud sporting nation would inevitably conduct its own Spanish Inquisition and some very good questions would be asked of team members and selectors as regards what the hell went wrong. The rebuilding won't happen overnight and the Summer 2012 (Olympic) Ashes might come around a little too soon. After all us Poms want the Ashes to stay competitive don't we

there is a strong feeling here that such a result would be a good thing long term, but it is inevitable reaction.

and the inquisition is well under way. the problem is that it is being conducted by those who got us in this mess in the first place and they seem unlikely to decide that they are the complete gibbering pillocks that the rest of us know them to be.

to have a bloke as head of selectors - a bog average cricketer to start with though that doesn't always mean a dopey selector - for getting on for two decades, gives you an idea of how entrenched these people are and how much they want to protect their jobs. and arguing that they presided over a great era hardly cuts it. that dead octopus could have picked the aussie team in the glory days.

as for our selectors, some moron makes the decision to drop johnson after one bad test, despite him obviously being our most potential matchwinner (sorry, only likely matchwinner). then decides that he is better getting things right in the nets and not in a shield game (because match practice is apparently no longer the way to go), announcing that the standard of shield games - once the greatest non-test comp in the world - is not up to it (and didn't that piece of stupidity go down well) but he has three net sessions to prove to selectors that he is back to it. so how many selectors front for the net session? zero.

and of course, we had big merv as a selector (seriously, he must have photos of some bloke on the board in bed with a goat to have got a spot) but running tours for drunks at the same time. you'd often see him in the crowd with his tour group, whooping it up. great way to assess the team, merv. great decision, the board. sack the lot.

as for wanting it to remain competitve, be careful what you wish for. we had lots of folk here saying they wanted a close contest rather than thumping england every time. for 25 years, i told them forget that. it will/does eventually turn and then we'll pray for the old days. same will happen again though god knows when and you'll wish it wasn't competetive. it is okay for tests against all other nations to be competitive. not the ashes. i'll take 5-0 every time.

and if clarke's shot yesterday was that of a captain in waiting, then it is going to be a long time in the doldrums.

as for the comment re speaking emglish, afraid you've completely lost me. care to elaborate?

[asmith]

I'm loving the pain Aussie cricket fans are in at the moment. OK Keny what would be your team for the next test, now don't wait till the day before I want to see who you would have in there. You never know one of the Australian cricket selectors could be reading this forum.

[dicko]

Great post Ken. Andrew Hilditch most hated person in australia right now! lol

[asmith]

Great post Ken. Andrew Hilditch most hated person in australia right now! lol

Who's Andrew Hilditch??

[Ken Gargett]

Who's Andrew Hilditch??

smithers, you are a moron.

and it is not so much 'who' for the next team (though clarke needs a spell on the sidelines to see if he can rebuild his form) - it is a process over time. you don't grab someone, give them one test and then say, whoops, bugger off because you are not the next warne or mcgrath or hayden or gilchrist. and do it to players time after time. they clearly do not understand that a warnie is a once in a century proposition and that you cannot just keep throwing spinners at the side hoping one sticks - ten to date, since warnie left us. absurd.

their stated contempt for the shield comp shows the troubles we have at grass roots.

and the chasing the filthy dosh by running around the sub-continent and anywhere else there was the sniff of a buck, at the expense of a proper preparation - which england, to their great credit, had the brains to do - has left us as the joke of international cricket.

the last time we were this bad, and even then we didn't cop anything like a flogging this horrendous, was when we were actually fielding a 3rd string side, thanks to south african ventures. we don't even have that excuse any more.

[tigger]

as for the comment re speaking emglish, afraid you've completely lost me. care to elaborate?

Ugly American poking fun at Cricket is all.

[adic88]

Man, the aussies are in trouble.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/england/9292851.stm

How did it come to this???

[El Presidente]

Man, the aussies are in trouble.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/england/9292851.stm

How did it come to this???

Hubris + incompetence + self delusion = Current Australian Cricket team.

Honourable mention to England, Hussey, Haddin and Watson.

[cubanmule7]

Can anybody explain to us ugly americans please , how does cricket work exactly? Looks like a beekeeper stands in front of a couple sticks and tries to hit a ball with the same paddle that we beat new college pledges with, and somehow this can go on for days and nobody gets bored with it.

Don't get me wrong, I think our baseball can be pretty boring. No disrespect really....just don't understand the game.

[Ken Gargett]

Hubris + incompetence + self delusion = Current Australian Cricket team.

Honourable mention to England, Hussey, Haddin and Watson.

what the hell did watson do?

do you mean johnson?

i used to try and explain cricket to americans when i worked there. lost cause.

best was a good mate of mine who wine fans might know from wine spectator, matt kramer. matt is a terrific bloke but i had no chance re cricket. i tried the 6-287 etc. finally he looks at me and says, ' ah, so its like blood pressure'.

and in england, had a canadian mate who would listen to cricket on the radio, for hours. loved it. when he finally saw it on tv, could not believe it was what he had been listening to. i don't know what he imagined but apparently absolutely nothing like the real thing.

after all, if you heard silly leg on the radio, what would it mean to you?

[ARRV]

Can anybody explain to us ugly americans please , how does cricket work exactly? Looks like a beekeeper stands in front of a couple sticks and tries to hit a ball with the same paddle that we beat new college pledges with, and somehow this can go on for days and nobody gets bored with it.

Don't get me wrong, I think our baseball can be pretty boring. No disrespect really....just don't understand the game.

It is not a game. It is a way of life in summer here.

I have played cricket with:

(a) people who smoked while fielding

( batted without gloves to express bowling

© had a radio next to them on the field to listen to the races while fileding

Part pastime, part sport, part social event, great sledging forum (never laughed so hard as during some matches). Basically like a bbq with some sport thrown in.

I consider it a metaphor for life.

[adic88]

what the hell did watson do?

do you mean johnson?

i used to try and explain cricket to americans when i worked there. lost cause.

best was a good mate of mine who wine fans might know from wine spectator, matt kramer. matt is a terrific bloke but i had no chance re cricket. i tried the 6-287 etc. finally he looks at me and says, ' ah, so its like blood pressure'.

and in england, had a canadian mate who would listen to cricket on the radio, for hours. loved it. when he finally saw it on tv, could not believe it was what he had been listening to. i don't know what he imagined but apparently absolutely nothing like the real thing.

after all, if you heard silly leg on the radio, what would it mean to you?

Lol, cricket is like wine i think. It's an acquired taste.

I actually prefer test cricket compared to the baseball-ish nature of 20/20.

Much more room for strategy, mind games, and measured play.

[Ken Gargett]

Lol, cricket is like wine i think. It's an acquired taste.

I actually prefer test cricket compared to the baseball-ish nature of 20/20.

Much more room for strategy, mind games, and measured play.

under no definition is that toxic nonsense called 20/20 in any way related to cricket. it is the sauvignon blanc of sport.

and now johnson is knocking poms over left right and crooked. but not good enough last test. but considered best all rounder on the planet the test before. these selectors must go.

they have destroyed phil hughes career - let's hope he can get it back on track because he will provide many hours of entertainment.

the tragic thing is these moronic idiots will probably claim that johnson's wickets are down tio them dropping him.

please will someone shoot them.

[Ken Gargett]

and while on dumb and dumber, what was pietersen thinking referring that lbw? how arrogant and selfish are these blokes? does he think that he is so good he should not be out? he must have known he was gone yet wastes one of his team's referral. if i was in charge of england, i'd be livid. what if they are short a referral when needed and somehow momentum swings back to us?

selfish and stupid.

[adic88]

Omg, the English are collapsing. GRRRRRRR

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/england/9293384.stm

[mazolaman]

AAHH Well,there's always a collapse around the corner in English cricket.

I didn't think we would walk this one.

Some great bowling from Johnson and Hilfenhause.

Pitch has spead up if anything.

As I said previously,we'll do well to get a draw here.

re explanation of cricket,I hope this helps.......

Cricket

You have two sides one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that goes in goes out and when he's out he come in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.

When both sides have been in and out including not outs, that's the end of the game.

HOWZAT!

Source: MCC

[winelover]

My earlier mention of a 4-0 has jinxed us. Well done Australia who I think will go on to get a decent lead and then the question is whether we can dig ourselves out with a big score like in the fgirst test. Tend to think an Aussie win to level the series is most likely.

Agree with commentss re selectors and MJ who if I recall correctly was player of the year in 09 and is clearly a class above the rest when he is on his game. Well done to him and to Australia today.

[Ken Gargett]

My earlier mention of a 4-0 has jinxed us. Well done Australia who I think will go on to get a decent lead and then the question is whether we can dig ourselves out with a big score like in the fgirst test. Tend to think an Aussie win to level the series is most likely.

Agree with commentss re selectors and MJ who if I recall correctly was player of the year in 09 and is clearly a class above the rest when he is on his game. Well done to him and to Australia today.

correct re johnsomn - international player of the year then dumped. dills.

one point re strauss. i've been very negative re his captaincy, and i think that the fact england doing so well does cover over failings, but a pommy mate made an excellent point. while agreeing re strauss on the field, he did point out that he has been excellent off the field, held the team together. he is spot on. to give him credit, i think what he has done off the field with this mob has been a huge contributiong factor.

clarke fails again. what is the point of having feet if you won't use them?

[cubanmule7]

AAHH Well,there's always a collapse around the corner in English cricket.

I didn't think we would walk this one.

Some great bowling from Johnson and Hilfenhause.

Pitch has spead up if anything.

As I said previously,we'll do well to get a draw here.

re explanation of cricket,I hope this helps.......

Cricket

You have two sides one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that goes in goes out and when he's out he come in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.

When both sides have been in and out including not outs, that's the end of the game.

HOWZAT!

Source: MCC

GREAT! Now I'm totally confused.

[winelover]

GREAT! Now I'm totally confused.

Wikipedia on Cricket