women!

[Thomas]

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me..'

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[Guest Warren]

:rotfl: :rotfl:

So Thomas, how long have you been seeing my Wife.

[BlackFriar]

add...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've done told her twice.

:-D

[El Presidente]

Have e-mailed Lise.......with details of author :-D

[Thomas]

» Have e-mailed Lise.......with details of author :-D

uh ohh,,,run, duck, dodge ,hide(((wimper)))

HA! nothing....see she still loves me!:-P

[First Lady]

» » Have e-mailed Lise.......with details of author :-D

»

» uh ohh,,,run, duck, dodge ,hide(((wimper)))

»

»

» HA! nothing....see she still loves me!:-P

I will let you pass with this one ;-)

[matt14]

A foul mouthed, pig ugly woman walks into a supermarket dragging two dirty brats with her.

The greeter says "good morning madam, what beautiful children you have, are they twins?"

She says "stupid bast*rd, she's 7, he's only fu*king 3, why would you think they're twins di*khead?!"

The greeter says "because I can't imagine anyone shagging you twice"