talking kiwi clock

[Ken Gargett]

feel free to insert despised nation (just joking, kiwi brethren but we have deans and you don't) of your choice...

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment in (again, insert aussie city of your choice) to a couple of

friends late one night, a drunk Kiwi led the way to his bedroom where

there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.

"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Kiwi clock", he drunkenly replied.

"A talking Kiwi clock - seriously?".

"Yup."

"How's it work then?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.

"Jus' watch" said the big Kiwi. He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an

ear-shattering bash and stepped back.

His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment as the

reverberations slowly died.

Suddenly, another Kiwi accented voice from the other side of the wall screamed, "For

F*#k's sake, you stupid bugger!!! It's ten past three in the f*#king

morning!!!"