bruce in Brisbane - some days, you're better off staying in bed

[Ken Gargett]

Yes, Bruce at the Brisbane Golf Club. Or at least a Bruce tribute show. Allow me to share.

this was last Friday. Sister and some friends were going so I joined them. Apparently, this bloke has been doing this a while at various clubs and pubs (and had a stint as a tom jones impersonator in Japan). Last night, does it get better than appearing at the famous BGC?

Fair to say, probably not the biggest crowd he has appeared before. I believe it totalled 25 people (yes, I counted – there were only five tables, so not hard). And, other than my sister who is 18 months younger than I am, I was the youngest there. By some way. I really felt sorry for the bloke. He really did his best. And he was pretty good. The small crowd did not put him off. Got worse after the interval as one table left and down to 17.

Unfortunately, most of the songs were the Human Touch, Atlantic City, I’m on Fire, Philadelphia, High Hopes stuff. A few classics.

Spoke to him after. Really nice guy. He’d mentioned Rosalita but did not play it. When I asked why, he was surprised that anyone in the crowd even knew it. Had he known that, he’d have played it and more. Seems he tailors the songs for the audience and given there were mostly old age pensioners, that is why he played that selection. But seeing him desperately trying to rock away in front of a handful of old cronies was so sad. I would not have lasted so kudos to him for doing so. 

It was all good fun and worth seeing until some truly dreadful woman decided she’d be in charge of the party. She was at the wrong end of her 70s but still at least an inch taller than me and was hobbling around on a cane but she decided we’d all get up and dance. Hobbled around trying to drag people out of their chairs. I might have pointed out that she had neither the millions which might induce me to do so and nor did she have a gun, so there was no possible chance. She kept hobbling about dragging people up – most would sit down as soon as her back was turned but she got about half a dozen up. Most on canes. Not making that up. So it looked a bit like a forest of OAPs swaying in the breeze.

Then she decided that was not enough, so she’d join the poor bloke on stage. Hobbled over and up. He was very polite. She did this several times throughout the night. Unfortunately (or perhaps very fortunately), she did not know a single word, so just stood there like a gibbering idiot, crowding the poor bloke, who really looked like he’d rather be anywhere else swallowing turds.

Then she decided that she could contribute by regularly howling. Very loudly. Appalling. A truly awful woman (entirely possible she was fully aware of my thoughts but as my sister plays golf there, I thought I should not cause too many issues).

Then, just at the end when he is playing 'born to run' and finally a few classics, some bat crazy loon comes over (different loon to the first one). Apparently, she had had a bet that she could get me up to dance (by this stage, I had relocated to about ten yards from anyone else there so they would not bother me and i could listen to the music). She lost. But her second choice was to yack. Endlessly. Through 'born to run'. Did I play golf there? Why didn’t I play golf there? Who did I know? Who do they know? And on and on. How the hell she did not get the message that I would rather she was put through a mincer than be talking to me I have no idea.

Seriously, Beyond Blue should have set up an office outside because if anyone left that place and were not depressed to hell, I do not know how.

 

Ps – I learnt one thing (well, two – don’t go to tribute shows with the walking dead was one). The lead singer of Manfred Mann lived in Australia for quite a while. He also wrote ‘you’re the voice’ but was apparently appalled when he heard that Farnham was going to sing it. Very opposed. He remembered him from Sadie days.

Bet he doesn’t mind the royalties now.