fun with telstra

[Ken Gargett]

and to make the day perfect, i’m on hold with telstra. and have been for christ knows how long. again, they turned off the facility that sends me a text message when i get left a message at home. found out when asked why not returning calls. why they do this is beyond me.

so i speak to a long series of machines asking me questions and sending me in circles. until i explode. GET ME A F'ING OPERATOR. and amazingly the machine puts me through to an operator. the wrong one of course. but never fear, if i hold (for ages), she’ll put me through to the right person. pigs are clouding the sky.

next person. may i call you kenneth? call me anything you like if you can fix this. we go through it all. she only gets it wrong about four times. then when i am starting to get grumpy tells me she has a cousin named ken. i am about to ask if if he is any more competent than her or just a run of the mill terrorist (yes, i know, but i am pissed off hugely by this stage) but think better of it – previous experience of them hanging up (one time, when i rang back, i got the same woman – “you’re the ***** that just hung up on me” was the immediate but not useful reaction because, yes, i didn’t get her a third time).

still on hold, by the way.

finally, yes, she can help but will just have to check something with technical. i hold for another 20 minutes. she comes back. she is also on hold – allegedly. i am not best pleased. i hold again. another ten. she is still on hold, she says. we have words. actually, i have words and she does bugger all. i am given the option of calling back later. so i can waste another hour? again, not best pleased.

finally get to technical but this idiot has told them nothing. just handballed me. new woman gets a blast. she assumes i have rung complaints and tries to explain that she is not in the complaint department. eventually we sort that out. and no, she is not able to help but not to worry, she’ll just make a call.

and i am still on hold at this stage.... coming up to the hour.....

actually, about an hour/ten now. a delivery man came and burst out laughing when i said i was on hold with telstra. they really are the worst company in australia.

[MIKA27]

actually, about an hour/ten now. a delivery man came and burst out laughing when i said i was on hold with telstra. they really are the worst company in australia.

Mate, I can not begin to tell you how much I despise Telstra.

I managed the Melbourne HQ for 2.5 years (On behalf of building owner) and seen how badly they treated their customers and staff alike. I recall the first month how much of a prehistoric attitude they have in the way they treat employees, who would stroll into work only to find their access cards wouldn't work at the turnstiles. Here the poor guy or gal is assuming there is a glitch, call security only to find out their job is null and void. This happened to 2,000 employees back in 2010!

You wouldn't think that kind of thing happens this day and age but it does. So, I get home and immediately call Telstra and cancel our home phone and mobile plans. Paid them out in full and couldn't be happier! We still get calls once a month or so from Telstra asking us to return.

Telstra can go "Moderate' themselves. (Why is there no icon for giving the finger!?)

[Ken Gargett]

finally, supposedly, resolved itself. the woman got back to me. she had spoken to four members of the technical team, none of who could do the most simple thing and just recomnnnect me to the facility i was on before. finally got one, but she won't know if it worked for 24 hours. how unbelievably stupid are these people. i remember one evening finally exploding at the moron who could not do the most simple thing and i said, and i swear this is true, "is there anyone there with any brains that i could talk to?' - the response, "no sir, we are the technical department".

i have a million stories about them. none good.

[polarbear]

I had them ring me 4 times over a period of 2 days asking me to pay my bill

I explained to them i paid it online the previous week and forwarded them the reciept for the transaction

The next day they cut my phone off and when i rang them to enquire as to why they had suspended my service they informed me that my account was overdue.

I replied that i'd paid it the previous Monday and if they gave me (another) email adress I would forward them the transaction

Sent them the reciept. Got a call an hour later from some guy who explained to me that Telstra doesnt accept PayPal transactions for bill payments. I replied that the email my bill came in had in big blue writting "Now Accepting PayPal"

I was informed (in no uncertain terms) that Telstra doesnt accept PayPal and the fact that i sent them a reciept from PayPal clearly showing Testra as the reciever meant that i had forged the reciept.

So now i'm being accused of Fraud. I get angry. Ask to speak to a supervisor. Was told in no uncertain terms by the Supervisor that Telstra do not take PayPal.

I forwarded them another copy of my reciept and a copy of the email explaining the PayPal was now available to all Telstra customers.

2 days pass, no re-connection.

I call back, pissed off. Ask to speak to the same supervisor and give him a spray about the lack of customer service i'm recieving.

Am informed that they now took PayPal and I was welcome to settle my account that way

I lost it!

Explained that this was the reason i called. The account was settled over a week ago and even though I'd sent through documentation saying that i'd paid them a week ago i still had no service.

I was reconnected on that day without so much as an applogy for the mix up.

You wanna know what really got my back up. Last month they sent me a bill for a $10 late payment fee!

I swear, if it wasnt for the fact I live in the Top End and Telstra are the only carrier that gets decent coverage i'd toss this bloddy phone and go back to Optus!

[Overproof]

Hi Ken, does the home phone send you a text message to say you have a message on the home phone, does it give you a contact number of who called etc..

I'm confused maybe I should join telstra. Maybe there are new types of answering machines that can do this sort of thing? VOIP?

[Fuzz AI]

Over the last 2 years, Telstra has paid me approx $2k for all the mistakes and foul ups they have made on my services. Depending on how peeved I am, I usually get between 1-3 months free service after I lodge a complaint.

Maybe I should hire out my services to people to handle their Telstra complaints...

[MIKA27]

Over the last 2 years, Telstra has paid me approx $2k for all the mistakes and foul ups they have made on my services. Depending on how peeved I am, I usually get between 1-3 months free service after I lodge a complaint.

Maybe I should hire out my services to people to handle their Telstra complaints...

.... Do you like tinned fruits?

[Fuzz AI]

I'll take either a flat fee of $50 or 10% of any money collected, which ever is greater.

[Trevor2118]

You wanna know what really got my back up. Last month they sent me a bill for a $10 late payment fee!

Give them a call.....I'm sure they will fix it within 40 or so minutes.....if your lucky.

At this point it's probably a 50/50 chance that you will actually get a credit on the next account.

If that fails.....give them a call (please see above and repeat until you get the credit or you give up in total frustration).

[Fuzz AI]

Give them a call.....I'm sure they will fix it within 40 or so minutes.....if your lucky.

At this point it's probably a 50/50 chance that you will actually get a credit on the next account.

If that fails.....give them a call (please see above and repeat until you get the credit or you give up in total frustration).

Only 2 calls are needed. First call Telstra and demand the money credited to your account, or better yet, lodge a complaint and get them to wipe your next bill (I do this often). Second call is to the TIO if the first call fails (or just email from their website). Explain how you followed Telstra's instructions that they accept PayPal payments and that nobody at customer service knew that or even accepted it when you provided proof. Furthermore, this has cost you time, money (being charged a late fee), loss of service, and aggravation. Advise the TIO that you would accept a refund off you bill as an acceptable resolution.

You will get more money back this way as Telstra hate getting TIO complaints and will be more willing to mollify your complaint by throwing money at you.

[Ken Gargett]

Hi Ken, does the home phone send you a text message to say you have a message on the home phone, does it give you a contact number of who called etc..

I'm confused maybe I should join telstra. Maybe there are new types of answering machines that can do this sort of thing? VOIP?

fuzz, i have had them do credits for crap before.

what happens with the service, when it works, is that if someone rings and i am not in, they can leave a message on the machine, as per usual. i then get a text saying you have one/two/etc unanswered messages etc. i then just ring in and get my message.

when i moved back to brisbane a few years ago (for those outside, australia's third largest city and i am in the suburbs), i got a call from a moron from telstra. he said he was from telstra and needed to talk to me but had to confirm who i was so wanted me to answer questions.

no.

what do you mean no?

no, i will not answer questions.

why?

you could be anyone.

but i'm from telstra.

don't care.

but i must speak with you.

okay.

but i must confirm you are the right person.

i am.

but i need to confirm that.

your problem.

but i have to talk to you.

okay.

but i need to confirm....

don't care.

look, if you don't think i am from telstra, i'll give you a number and you can ring and confirm.

no.

why?

you seriously think i am going to sit on a telstra line for hours to confirm you?

but i have to talk to you.

okay.

but....

eventually, when he realised i was not going to answer questions or ring anyone, he said - well, i suppose this once it would be okay.

up to you.

well, i am ringing to say that we cannot provide connection where you are.

what?

you are in an area we can't cover.

i'm in the suburbs of brisbane.

yes, but we can't connect you. we don't provide coverage there.

okay, well why do i have coverage?

what do you mean?

been here two weeks and i have coverage. not very good, mind you, but coverage.

really? from us?

can't imagine anyone else voluntarily is providing me with connection.

wow. okay then, i'll tell them.

NO YOU WON'T.

what do you mean?

it is working. i am not have you idiots "fix" it. leave it alone. and by the way, if you can't provide coverage, then presumably you should not be charging me.

oooh, you'd have to talk to billing.

and with that he got off asap.

and to this day, i regret that i didn't report him for providing the information to me without confirmation, breaching all sorts of privacy laws.

[Overproof]

I had a similar phonecall from some woman claiming she was from the bank. she asked me to call a number to confirm who she was because I kept questioning her . How the hell am I to know the number she provided is not set up number to jack my details. I kindly told her to piss off.

Part of my package with IInet I was offered (but dont use) is a Voice over IP handset phone that comes with a phone number) I'm sure these things cand do the same sort of thing you have explained. All local calls from it are free from memory, no line rentals and all that BS either it's just the added bonus on you internet.

Their customer service is great. Never had a major problem in over 4 years. My internet quota keeps going up and I keep paying the same too haha.

[AndrewNR]

Why did I open this thread? My head hurts.

[Fuzz AI]

Hahaha!!! I do that kinda thing all the time when I get unsolicited calls from my bank, CC company or Telstra. I mean, c'mon! You're calling me to confirm I am who I say I am?

[sengjc]

...I mean, c'mon! You're calling me to confirm I am who I say I am?

Yeah it's hilarious that one. The operators I get usually introduce themselves first and let me know the purpose of the call before asking for ID. But I do get the occasional ones who ask me to ID straight up in which I would retort.

[Ken Gargett]

AND AFTER ALL THAT, DO YOU THINK THE BRAINDEAD SCUM DID ANYTHING TO FIX IT? NOT A THING. SCUM!!!!!

[Ken Gargett]

another 25 minutes and we discover that to fix this, i ring the standard 12.... number, put in pin, press 4, and then press 1. that is it. the best part of three hours and they could, if they were not so utterly stupid, have told me what to do in less than 60 seconds.

their share price should be negative. their management should all resign or go to jail for complete incompetence and they should all shoot themselves.