El Presidente Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Forgive me for the deep question. I attended a business group meeting this morning which was moderated by a Business Coach/Guru/Moron. Group of 7 each owning their own business. The question he proposed was : What are 2 questions you would ask an Oracle...if you could only ask 2 questions ? Needless to say he asked me first as it was obvious that I had arrived late, had not paid a a great deal of attention and was not overly tolerant of this type of nonsense. Not giving it a minutes thought I said: Easy... 1. What's an Oracle 2. Why am I limited to 2 questions With a gleam of contempt in his eye he looked to the next person who poposed: 1. On my death bed who will be around me? 2. What public goods will I be remembered for? Each set of questions got deeper and deeper and made me look worse and worse. I have a follow up meeting next Wednesday. I have a lot to do before I leave for Havana so I will do what comes naturally and cheat. WHat two questions can I ask which will make me appear, intelligent, in touch with worlds "aura" + utterly sincere and honest? :-D
JMH Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 1. How can I minimise my profit/effort ratio 2. Who is JR? I hate all that sort of crap too. I went to a jesuit school, so one of the major things we were taught was so think and question. Unfortunately some teachers weren't very creative, which created quite a few bullshit situations like the one you jsut described. How can they expect me to take questions like that seriously? I can be extraordinarily stubborn, and so I'd give smart arsed answers like, which got me into a few awqward situations
Taino Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 1.- Do oracles enjoy fingers up their butts? 2.- Are you the oracle GW consults? With those two answered you will know if you can trust this oracle. Try to be the first one to ask, demand immediate answers and be extremely serious.
raney Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 1. Are the cubans 'cooking' their tobacco 2. What does my finger smell like NOW? In all seriousness, these kind of questions really annoy me. If this is a development course, I would suggest that 'fantasy' thinking is detrimental to operating in real-world situations. But if you wanted to pander to the instructor: 1. What second question would most enable me to achieve fulfillment for myself and those around me? 2. (Ask that question)
DocRKS Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 » WHat two questions can I ask which will make me appear, intelligent, in » touch with worlds "aura" + utterly sincere and honest? :-D 1. Can the gods - who are all powerful - make a rock so big and heavy they can not lift or move it? 2. What assurances do I have that last night, while we slept, aliens from another galaxy didn't land on Planet Earth, sneak into our houses, and make an exact replica of all of our furniture and take away the originals back to their home planet?
Colt45 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 if my aunt had b@lls, would she be my uncle? do these pants make me look fat?
strayvector Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 1. Who wins the Super Bowl for the next 10 years. 2. Who wins the next 10 World Cups. With those answers, you'll never need another advice from another Business consultant and if you can't figure out how to make money with those answers then try these: 1. Why? 2. If a bear shits in the woods and no one is there to smell it, does really make a smell?
Mel Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I can see all the sharp wit is over here. I hope i will get smarter just reading the post by the likes of yall. Try these to impress 1. Where can I find a course with more real substance than this? 2. Tell me the fail safe way to get all the ***** I want as this is the real goal of life?
CIGARHead Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Hmmm... - Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? - Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Loki Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I hate motivational speakers! 1. Why do people actually attend Anthony Robbins seminars? 2. Why do Men think that a little non FDA approved pill will make their penis larger?
Spartagas Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 » Forgive me for the deep question. » » I attended a business group meeting this morning which was moderated by a » Business Coach/Guru/Moron. Group of 7 each owning their own business. » » The question he proposed was : » » What are 2 questions you would ask an Oracle...if you could only ask 2 » questions ? » » Needless to say he asked me first as it was obvious that I had arrived » late, had not paid a a great deal of attention and was not overly tolerant » of this type of nonsense. » » Not giving it a minutes thought I said: Easy... » » 1. What's an Oracle » 2. Why am I limited to 2 questions » » » With a gleam of contempt in his eye he looked to the next person who » poposed: » » 1. On my death bed who will be around me? » 2. What public goods will I be remembered for? » » Each set of questions got deeper and deeper and made me look worse and » worse. » » I have a follow up meeting next Wednesday. I have a lot to do before I » leave for Havana so I will do what comes naturally and cheat. » » WHat two questions can I ask which will make me appear, intelligent, in » touch with worlds "aura" + utterly sincere and honest? :-D 1. "Should I just continue the free shipping on a permanent basis, or should it be free shipping AND free Cohiba's with every order?" 2. "Did Roethlisberger really break the plane? I just have to know..." :-)
smk819 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 What is tomorrows winning lottery number? Why would i need a second question?
El Presidente Posted February 8, 2006 Author Posted February 8, 2006 :rotfl: ....oh what sick puppies you all are. Thankyou. I am going with : 1. Can the gods - who are all powerful - make a rock so big and heavy they can not lift or move it? 2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Back up reserve Question 3. do these pants make me look fat? This should be enough to guarantee I will never be asked back :-D
JMH Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Courtesy of Homer Simpson when he was high: *To Ned Flanders* Could jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
DocRKS Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 » :rotfl: » » ....oh what sick puppies you all are. » » Thankyou. I am going with : » » 1. Can the gods - who are all powerful - make a rock so big and heavy they » can not lift or move it? » ROB!!!! Pls Help - I can't seem to find the thread where you list what the person who submitted the TOP Question wins --- I hope there is an FOH Hat involved in the gift pack ;-) :-D
pizzabob Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 » » 1. What's an Oracle » 2. Why am I limited to 2 questions » » » WHat two questions can I ask which will make me appear, intelligent, in » touch with worlds "aura" + utterly sincere and honest? :-D OK, I think you should ask... 1. "How much should I charge for Cohibas on EBAY?" 2. "How much for your wife?"
PJ_CEONAD_CC Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Rob, take notes and ask one question for me and I will send you my best cigar..................Who will come in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd in every race during Arlington Park's 2006 season??? No need to thank me! :-P
alexgtp Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 1.If i am not wearing any pants does that mean I do not exist? 2.If a tree falls and no one hears it is it because no one gives a damn? back up ?'s 1.how do I know that the oracle is not full of crap? 2.What 2 questions would the oracle like to ask me?
El Presidente Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 Mission Complete. This morning I was given the "Maybe this group is not what you are looking for" speech. Well done gentlemen....well done !
Maverick Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 What a money spinner it must be to hold people's attention for an extended period of time, and spinning **** the whole time. I think I might be a Life Coach, now that sounds like fun (No offense to people on FOH who might actually be a life coach). It is about as same as our work TEAM needing a MISSION STATEMENT in order to fart arse our way around the office. And let me tell you Rob, what you sat through is nowhere near as bad as the 2 hour "How to embrace the Corporate culture and company values" seminar, that was seriously scarry, but at least we did get to play with crayons and paper. I drew a car and a house!!! Didnt get any stars or stickers for it though! Ross...
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