Day 132 of the Ken Cuban Presidency.

[El Presidente]

The “Presidente ken to the Country” tour was an unbridled success. Every day the flourishing Cuban press had front page photo’s of ken riding an Ox, ken stripping stems from tobacco leaves, ken behind a dozer pushing dirt (nowhere in particular.....but great photo), ken in hardhat doing this...ken in hardhat doing that....you get the drift. Presidente kens ratings were going through the roof. In the course of one week, Presidente “Doofus” was replaced with Presidente “Action man” in the eyes of the Cubans all over the country.

Now ensconced back in the Havana Club Presidential Palace, the post tour debriefing was underway with the Cuban cabinet.

Ken “ They love me Maximus! I haven’t had so much fun since the Domaine de la Romanée-Conti tastings in 2006!”

Jose “Presidente.....with all due respect, officially to the public, you only drink Cuba rum, neat and with a scowl on your face”

Ken “Of course Jose! I am the reincarnation of Hemmingway!”

Hamlet “Hemmingway didn’t drink rum from a Riedel glass and with enough ice to cure the ice cap melt”

Maximus “credit where credits due Ken, you pulled it off.”

Ken “We should keep going with this. Jose, organise a photo shoot of me fly fishing in las Salinas. I want to do a photo shoot like Putin.....shirt off, cigar in mouth”

Lisa “ I am going to puke”

Maximus “ ken...for the love of God...don’t push it,”

Hamlet “Readers Digest have already done the Hippo article for this year”

Smithy “Ken...do it dude. You look buff”

Ken “ Smithy...glad to see someone has noticed I have been working out! I am up to 5 pushups!

Our Minister for Womens affairs, Yaima, walked in through the French doors onto the terrace. I love watching Yaima walk....soothing and dangerous all at the same time.

Yaima “Presidente, I regret to information you that a Granma reporter has contacted me to advise the following story will run on the front pages of tomorrows newspaper”

Maximus “What does it say Yaima?”

Yaima “ Presidential Sex Scandal”

Hamlet “ Animal or vegetable?”

Yaima “Six women have come forward to say they bare the illegitimate children of Presidente ken.”

Maximus “ .....and everything was going so well”

Hamlet “Don’t worry Maximus.....his ratings will go up!”

Lisa “ Smithy told me ken was Impotent?”

Ken “Whoaaa! Don’t I have a say in this...who are these people!”

Yaima “ Conchita Martinez, Leyla Moralez, Mercedes Espinoza, Penelope Cruz .....I assume that is a working name, Lucky Lucinda and Bruce.”

Ken “ Bimbi, Bambi, Barbie...the next two are sisters and Bruce introduced himself as Bridgette!”

Maximus “ When Ken....When?”

Ken “ Before the Presidency Maximus! The force runs strong within me!”

Hamlet “ Who would have thought “Jar Jar Binks” here could reproduce?”

Maximus “Lise....how do we handle this?”

Lisa “Simple.....Deny Deny Deny! President ken believes in the sanctity of marriage and the strength of the family unit. He has no recollection of these women....and one man......and is prepared to take a paternity test...eventually”

Jose “We can offer them Fridges”

Maximus “Bruce?”

Ken “His child is definitely not mine!”

Lisa “ We have to sort this out now and cut the story. Hillary Clinton is out next week”

Jose “ This would not have happened if Rupert Murdoch had not bought the communist rag “Granma”

Maximus “ Jose, call Rupert Murdoch now. Tell him to drop the story and Presidente ken will do an exclusive interview .......shirt off ...fishing in las Salinas ala Putin...double page spread. If he is belligerent, we agree to Ken doing an episode of “The Simpsons”

Smithy “Why don’t we just buy all of tomorrows newspapers?”

Ken “BRILLIANT SMITHY! You are the New EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!”

Smithy “Stoked Ken......Stoked”

Maximus “We can’t afford $568 CUC”

Lisa “Ken,go for six pushups. I estimate you have four days to prepare”

To be continued.

[mkz]

This is just getting better and better!!

[Smooth]

I was waiting for a sex scandal! These are sensational Rob...

[Stalebread]

Cool, Rob. Really cool.

[Tampa1257]

Even Bruce is claiming that Ken fathered his child. LMAO

[aavkk]

and the show must go on!! Great work their Rob. Love the readers digest hippo comment.

[Colt45]

swiss cheese indeed.....

[thechenman]

[jquest63]

LOL! President Ken as sexual TRex is hilarious. At least he had the decency to leave cigars out of the act. Or did he? He may need to consult with ex US pres. Clinton for tips.