Rob, you are truly priceless. The following story should make you feel better.
I decided to buy a gas powered pressure washer for cleaning the driveway, patio, etc. I talked to several people that said "whatever you do, get one with a Honda engine because they are easy to start" OK, off I go to Home Depot, plunk down $400 and head home with my new purchase.
Assembly goes well, I read the instructions, hooking up the garden hose, washer wand, and fill with gas. I turn on the water as instructed, set the switch to "On" and pull the chord - Nothing. Not even an attempt to start. I re-read the instructions. After several attempts I am sweating, swearing, and in a state of severe agitation. The thing is now obviously flooded. At this point my wife comes out and gives me the old "what's the matter dear" routine. My glare could have burned a hole through granite.
After all this effort, I give up and go inside to drink a bottle of White Burgundy to ease my pain. While drinking, I do a search on google about Honda Power Washer not starting. Well, it appears that I am not the only idiot that has had this problem. After doing extensive research, I come to find out YOU HAVE TO HOLD THE TRIGGER DOWN WHILE STARTING TO RELEASE WATER PRESSURE!!! There is a minor mention of holding the trigger down, but I thought this referred to after you were done. No mention in the troubleshooting section either.
I let the contraption sit for several hours and at around 9:00pm at night I try this new procedure - we have liftoff!!! I am so proud of myself that I got thing running, I started power washing the driveway just to break it in. My wife comes out yelling "its too late to run that thing shut it off" My reply "I suggest you back inside and leave me alone or I will power wash you along with the driveway" Needless to say there were no good night pleasantries exchanged when I turned in for bed.
True story, you just can't make this stuff up.